The Hunger Trials
by wisegirlindisguise
Summary: No matter if you defeat the Hunger Games and begin Panem anew there will always be someone who will hold onto the old ways. An underground operation begins, the Hunger Trials, where the trials is survival and victory is murder. What does winning cost you?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all. This story has been inside my head for a long while and I finally decided to put it on...computer screen? This is in first person, so I hope you enjoy being in the point of view of a Hunger Trails fighter. The Trials will be explained to you through out the story. Have fun reading. **

**Welcome to my head. **

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There's hopelessness in the air when you walk in. The air is thick and smells of blood, of course the same taste is on my lips that I've been chewing on for hours. It's a metallic taste and it has stained my taste buds. I'll never get it out of my mouth. Unfortunately, that seems to be the idea. I'm not supposed to get rid of it.

"Now, remember, you're almost in the main rounds. Then you can fight with the boys. Show them what you've really got. I'll be right there with ya the whole time. We can win this year." My father told me these things as he slipped my brass knuckles onto my hands. My nails were cut down as short as they could go and with my free hand I ran my palm over my shaved scalp. I only nodded my agreement to him as he forced my hand down so that he could slip the other set on my hand. "You're the strongest girl here; you can win." He took my face in his hands and smiled at me with his bright capitol eyes. There was a craving in his eyes that made the win seem self centered. It was. He was the only one that wanted to win.

"Welcome to the Cage our next fighters," the speaker crackled grossly over everyone drawing their anxious eyes toward the stage that I was being shoved into. Lights turned on and the white light poured onto the blood stained floor of the cage. Around the regular bars that had opened into a door in the first place were soon surrounded by a metallic chain mesh like drapes. My opponent and I were trapped in the Cage, staring at each other from across the small space which could only be about the size of a storage unit.

What should have been our names was a garble coming from the speakers, drowned out by the screaming crowd. They threw things at the mesh that protected us from the crowd, but then again, only one of us would be leaving the Cage. That was the point of these games really. We killed each other. It was brutal. It was disgusting. It was life.

I turn toward my opponent who is clutching a knife in her hand facing me with a deathly glare. Her hair is shaved off as well so that we don't try and pull each other's hair. Her nails are cut like mine so that they aren't bent backwards in the fights. We've been trained since we were little by our parents for moments like this. We're both survivors too because we've made it this far. Like my father had said, we were about to fight with the boys which meant we were about to go into the main tournament. Winner gets a title and money.

This operation had just started a little while back when the revolution happened. The Hunger Games ended and the Capitol citizens needed entertainment. They needed some sort of outlet to their craving for violence. An underground operation began which is now known as the Hunger Trials. You fight for your spot in the arena which means killing dozens of people on your way. One match at a time, you make a name for yourself until you're facing twenty-nine opponents with some sort of weapon. They want you dead.

"…and the Trials begin:" the voice crackled over the intercom and the crowd fell quiet until they got to count. "_THREE, TWO, ONE!_" There was a loud ringing of a bell and we approached each other immediately not letting fear make us circle around each other waiting for the first move. I still wasn't able to be the first move however. The knife whizzed past my ear and I spun out of the way before turning back to her and sending my fist at her nose. _Snap! _Her nose was immediately broken.

The garble continued on over our heads giving a play by play of the fight from a wireless microphone a man above us had as he sat in a suspended chair. I only knew from experience where he was though because I didn't turn away from the girl. I hit her again and again until she crumpled to the ground. The crowd booed and hissed throwing more and more things. It clinked against the mesh and then fell to the ground. A man, probably the father of this girl I was beating to death, hung his head. Not in anguish, he hung his head in shame because of his daughter, the weakling. She never had a chance. Her destiny was to be my kill.

"_She's not going to let up!_" The announcer's voice was in the back of my head. Soon it was gone and the life force from the girl went with it as she lay bloody on the ground. "COPS!" The place began to clear out and I backed away from the girl running to the cage's door. My father was already gone though.

"Wait! Please! Come back! I'm still here!" I shouted. No one even turned a head. My back hit the bars with force and I knew I had bruised myself though I didn't care. Sinking to the ground I balled up my fists again around the brass knuckled. My hands hurt, but my eyes burned worse with the tears that were welling up inside me. I looked up at the bright light not bothering that it would leave spots in my vision for a long while.

Peace Keepers busted through the door with a sudden forced and they ran around desperately to see if there were any stragglers. A man in his thirties tossed aside his bulky helmet. It clattered to the floor as he cursed looking around to his men. "They're gone. Check the perimeter."

"Sir!" He turned toward a man that was his comrade who was point toward me in the cage. "She's still alive. I can see her breathing form here Sir."

"I've got her," the man assured his soldiers and dismissed them again telling them to secure the perimeter. This time they all got out of the building except for the man who headed my way without his helmet. He wasn't stupid though; he drew his gun and held it at his side. When he made it to the mesh he looked around quietly not facing me. "How do you open the cage?" I looked up the suspended chair above the cage where a remote was hanging from the ceiling with two buttons on it. "How do I get up there?" He asked looking to me again as I turned to face the ladder on the far wall. "Thanks," he muttered before running toward the ladder.

I moved my head to watch him, but he didn't do anything other than what he had originally intended on. The chain mesh opened around the Cage and the door popped open. The strength to move and get out just wasn't there. I should've have wanted to run. I should have fought my way out. Then again, guns in the Trials were not allowed, so I had never gotten the chance to see if I could out run the bullet. Instead, I settled on staying there. I stared at the open door and then looked at my hands that were coated in blood.

"Let me help," the man said as he came back to me squatting down beside me. Carefully he opened my hands which couldn't seem to let go of my enhancement. He pulled the brass knuckles off of my fingers and set them on the floor. "My name is Gale Hawthorne," he mentioned as if it were just something that he had forgotten to say earlier on in a conversation. "We're going to get you out of here." There was a pause where he waited for me to say something when I didn't he smirked looking up at me. "You're a lot like my childhood friend. You don't say much to someone you don't know. What's you name?"

"Maxine Beauregard," my voice came out. It was hard to hear and it sounded hoarse. Then again, I never really spoke much. My voice sounded gravelly in the back of my throat and for a moment it hurt to talk over the lump in my throat. He tried to ask me more questions, but I didn't answer those. I didn't need to. Quietly, he coaxed me off the floor and led me out of the building.

His squadron stared at me as he got me into a black car that was dark inside and only had two seats in the front. There was a wall between us and the rest of the car so that his soldiers could sit in the back of the van together. He started the van and it roared to life under us. I looked out the window to where we left the building behind that held my death. This Gale Hawthorne had pried me from its clutches and was taking me away from that life into something new. Though new didn't always mean better. That's when the thought bloomed in my head.

I turned toward Gale and my body tensed up as I mustered the courage to ask him. "Gale?"

"Yea?" He answered though he didn't turn to look at me as he kept his eyes on the road heading for the Capitol. Its bright lights were shining up ahead with open gates ready to welcome the new folks moving from the outer districts to a better life.

"Are you putting me in prison?" The question seemed to shock him. I could tell by how his grip tightened on the wheel until his knuckles were white. He shook his head for an answer. "I've killed a lot of people." I didn't say it with regret. Then again, I didn't say it with pride even though I should have. I survived didn't I? I survived longer than all of my opponents. With only a little enhancement, I had killed them.

"It wasn't your choice," Gale sighed and sunk back in his seat still not daring to look at me. Now I knew it was because he didn't know how to face me. My vision on the world was so warped, so different, that he wasn't sure how to explain it to me. "We're just going to spend some time in the Capitol where they'll do some research on you. Observations, that kind of stuff, they want to see what the fighting has done to you."

"But it's not jail?"

"No, it's not jail. It'll be like a break. You won't train all the time and you won't have to worry about working to stay alive. You'll be given everything you need." Gale tried to assure me as we continued to drive that this new life would be so much better. I would be able to heal so that I could be like everyone else. We both seemed to question the actual possibility that someone that has been through the Trials would ever be the same.

"How many people have you saved from the Trials?" I wondered as we got closer and I got antsy. It got worse as we got closer. What if he was lying? What if I went to jail anyways? It was possible. I was a murderer, and the new President tended to frown upon that sort of thing. They frowned upon people like me.

"None, they start going through the healing process and kill themselves before they leave the Capitol." I sunk farther into my seat letting my heart sink with the action. No one had ever made it out of the capitol.

"They would've rather been in jail," I guessed though it came out as a statement to be accepted by the listener. "Healing means changing everything you know." Gale looked over at me as he pulled up to the gates of the Capitol. As they went to clear the van in the computers Gale turned to look at me, but I didn't look over at him. My thoughts rushed through my head insanely. I would have to flip over my world, change everything I had learned since I was younger. There was only one bright side to it and it was the only thing I could force between my lips: "But, it's not jail."

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**I hope you liked it. It's a little darker than some of my other stories though I do have dark stories. **

**Let me know what you think because I have the other chapters typed up and ready to go. I just need some feedback. Thank you guys for reading. **

**Sincerely,**

**wisegirlindisguise**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all of the positive comments. They make writing a lot more fun. Of course, this is a pre-typed chapter. I have a lot more to go and the story still isn't completely typed yet. Please enjoy. **

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This is jail. It's official. The only thing they're doing to observe me is watching the feed through a small set of cameras in each corner of the room. The room, hah, it's more like a cell. It's a simply four wall room with padded walls. All of it is white, a blinding bland white. It hurt my eyes the first couple of days, but I've learned not to care. I've been in here for three weeks (well, maybe four). The only person I ever see is a nurse who brings me food and asks me random sets of questions that may or may not have to do with a growing file they're making of me.

My only entertainment is a small black ball that I can throw against a wall. It's not even a bouncy ball though. It rolls back to me eventually, so at least I don't have to go and get it every time. The nurse, on good days, will toss it with me. Apparently, she doesn't have many good days. Who would when their job was to come visit a crazy girl with a peach-fuzz-head?

Oh yes, all of the medicines the Capitol has and I still only have a fourth of an inch on top of my head. However, the Capitol probably never encountered a woman who had had her head shaved and wanted all the hair back. Most probably wore a wig and went along pretending she had the hair. That wasn't me though. I was content with my state. It had helped me stay alive, hadn't it?

"Maxine?" The door cracked open and I looked up suddenly cocking an eyebrow at my intruder. It was the nurse. She was wearing her white outfit that was form fitting, but why not? She was Capitol which meant she was stylish no matter the occupation which was her reason for her red velvet colored hair. "You have a visitor." I stood immediately brushing off my clothes that matched my white room. I nodded to her and she vanished out the door while the man slipped into the room in her place.

"Hey Max," he smiled at me and immediately a smile crept to my lips almost mirroring his movements.

"Hey Gale, you've been gone forever. Thought you went to go save more Trial girls." I sat down on my small bed and waited for him to join me by sitting next to me, but he stayed leaned against the far wall. "What's up?" I asked leaning forward with my elbows on my knees to show him that I was taking him seriously. I could joke all I wanted to, but he had that look of business stuck on his face just like when he had saved me from the Cage.

"I came to relocate you. We're going to move you out to District 2 because I need to talk to you about the Hunger Trials." I must have look confused because he pulled something from his pocket and tossed it to the floor. The cube rolled a few time and then began to project a map of what some people called the Boons as their official name. It had started with the word boondocks because there was nothing out there between the districts other than small roads and train tracks. "We've raided these." He pointed to the hologram and five spots popped up red. "We're aware of this one." One blue dot popped up closer to the Capitol than normal arenas for the Hunger Trials, and suddenly I knew what he wanted me to do.

"You want to know where the main event is." I looked over the hologram at him and he nodded.

"So, you understand you would be on our side, and if you check out then you can join the raid crew. We're just asking for some information. If you want we'll even just let you into a normal life inside District 2." Gale's offers swam in my head, but I found something wrong with each of the offers. I only voiced one.

"Why can't I live in a different district?" I acted as if it made me angry that I would be stuck in District 2.

"We just want to make sure that you're safe and living in an outer district where you don't know anyone could cause…"

"Relapse." I finished for him since he couldn't seem to find the word. "I understand." I looked down at my hand which had been deadly weapons for so long and now only clutched a small black ball that had been my entertainment for weeks on end. My fingernails weren't lined with blood, and I wasn't training everyday. I didn't go to bed every night with bruises from my sisters and brothers who had trained with me when my father thought I needed a challenge.

Being the youngest of seven, I was more like the dummy for the older kids until I started to win. That's when my father started putting me in fights. When I won those too and started climbing the ladder to victory the others became the dummies. I was his prized...child? Possession…? Pet.

"…Max?" I looked up at Gale who was waiting patiently. He had the door open and his foot was propped in the way to let me out. "You ready to go? We've got a hovercraft on the roof ready to go so that we don't have to ride in a car very long." All I could manage was a nod and he sighed seeing my slip back into silence. I would say little or nothing along our journey because I was drowning; my thoughts were smothering me and I wasn't even trying to surface.

In a fog of thoughts that didn't make sense, we headed up through the hospital where I got stare after stare. I was no normal sight. I wasn't trying to be beautiful, and I wasn't hiding in shame because of it. After enough of me blushing because of it Gale dug for something and pulled out a beanie which I pulled onto my head gratefully. It felt warm against my scalp and I welcomed the feeling and the relief of stares from the folks around me.

"They won't bother you now. That beanie makes them think you're a Peace Keeper," the thought of me working as the law made me laugh. I had spent my whole life escaping it so that I could fight. Or, I suppose it was my father who worked outside of the law my whole life. He had been around for the Hunger Games and used his children to satisfy the thrill of death.

Gale got me into the hovercraft before himself. When he did he headed into a lobby like area where they offered drinks. After accepting a beer he sunk into a chair where he seemed to finally relax. It was the first time I had actually seen him relax since I had seen him a month ago. His age seemed to finally hit me in that moment. He wasn't as old as I thought he was. I must've thought he was forty-five, but I could see now he was probably only in his mid-thirties. He was still so old though. Most kids in the Trials didn't last until they were in their late twenties. Whatever brain and other damage had been caused was unattended to and we depleted into nothing.

That had all been fixed within my month of being stuck in the hospital. The first week I spent there was me being pulled in and out of darkness. Inside the darkness I went through operations and when I woke up I felt even worse. The final one left me in bed for two days before I finally found the strength to get up and do anything. After those initial two days I was fine and able to do anything I wanted. Then again, I wasn't _allowed _to do anything I wanted.

When I was offered a drink I denied it and sat in a chair across the room where I could look out a window. The land moved rapidly by them and soon there was no more land to see because they were so high in the sky there was only clouds and blue. It drew me to my feet and I walked to the window which was fed into the floor at one point. It flattened out, and I was able to walk out onto the glass and look down at the land below us where everything looked so small. My heart thudded in my chest so rapidly it scared me. My throat tightened up with the fear and I was ready to scream for the fall. It was invigorating, and I loved it.

"Are you trying to scare yourself?" Gale wondered as a girl walked into the room dressed similarly to him. She didn't face me at all, but I didn't care. All she did was ask for Gale's signature and he began to flip through some papers.

"Only a few things scare me," I told him and my words finally seemed to draw the girl's attention who looked at me flatly. "Heights is one of them," I whispered and looked down again letting the world pitch and turn with the beat of my heart and the swirl of my stomach. The girl had red hair and she didn't speak at all. Come to think of it. She hadn't spoken ever, not even to Gale. She had simply handed him the papers and a pen. Her red hair looked more natural though. The nurse in the Capitol was obviously fake, but this girl's hair matched her skin tone and the splash of freckles on her nose and cheekbones.

When Gale signed the papers she immediately left tucking the pen behind her ear as if she used it often. He turned in his chair toward me taking another swig of his drink as I sat down on the glass and stayed there. I even found the need in the back of my head to pull off my shoes and let my toes wriggle against the cool glass. "Why do you like scaring yourself?"

"Because it's hard to do," I reminded him of my previous statement. "It's a different feeling, and I like it." I set my chin on my knees curling into myself as I made a ball out of me.

"You can't go look off a high building where you come from?" Gale wondered leaning forward as he questioned me though he didn't mean to take it as an interrogation. It was just the fact that he worked for the law that made everything seem so pivotal and so violating.

"No, I can't." I gave a small smile and thought back to where I came from. "You guys call it the Boondocks. We call it Home; I guess. It's just a small town built up by some folks that left the Capitol when Paylor took over. I don't think it's fair." I shrugged letting my shoulders fall back into place. When they slouched a little lower than usual I straightened up quickly. You don't slouch; slouching is weakness.

"You don't think what's fair?" Gale asked truly curious. He had never considered the fact that maybe some of us were more comfortable in our lives than he thought. That's why so many people didn't survive rehab. The change was too much. We'd rather die then become weak like the rest of them.

"Everything." I turned around to look at the moving ground. My heart started to pump hard in my chest and my vision pitched wildly. "When Paylor moved into office my father and mother left the Capitol. They weren't themselves anymore. Then when I turned three, I think, I caught my dad training my brother to fight. I told him the Hunger Games were over. We didn't have to worry…"

My parents were from the Capitol, but when we moved I had been scared that we were going to have to start to compete in the Hunger Games. The announcement came on the radio that the Hunger Games were ending and I jumped for joy. My older brothers and sisters cheered! My mother sat there, shocked; she wouldn't say a word. So, I snuck outside to tell my dad. I wanted to tell him that we didn't have to worry because I knew he was.

My eldest brother had his hair cut short and he was running sprints between two posts. I told my dad that it was over. We didn't need to worry. There weren't going to be anymore games. Brother didn't have to train anymore, but he did.

"I caught him again, training I mean," I continued not looking up from the ground which had gone out of focus a long time ago. "When I told him we didn't have to train he told me we did because survivors win. _'If you can't win in a fight then you can't win in life. That's how it's always worked for the poor.'_" My dad's quote was always stuck in my head. "When he started training me I let him. Do you know how he convinced me?" Gale didn't answer so I turned around to look at him. "Do you?"

"What did he say to convince you?" Gale asked with intent eye on me waiting for this monumental moment.

"He told me that the new President hated people like us: people that left the Capitol," I put my chin on my knees as I hugged them close to my body. "They were hunting us…" Tears began to collect in my eyes and I ducked my head away into the darkness.

"That's not true. We only go after people breaking the law—,"

"They broke into my house Gale." I looked up at him swallowing the lump of tears that had already bursted and were linking down my face. "They took my brother. They told my dad that he couldn't train anymore. He couldn't train his kids. They put a gun to my brother head because his head was shaved…" Gale opened and closed his mouth looking for words, but he found none. A tremendous sob wracked my frame and I went back into hiding mumbling into the darkness I had created: "They killed him, in my front yard, right in front of me…"

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**I hope you liked the chapter. Please review telling me what you do and don't like. Thank you! Talk to you all later. **

**Sincerely,**

**wisegirlindisguise**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the next chapter folks. I've gotten some positive feedback. I hope it's because of the character development I've been working on for a while. Enjoy this chapter. You start to see her development of a new life outside of the Trials. But, it's always going to be difficult. **

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_My brother's shaved head was a symbol, a symbol of a fighter. Not just someone who worked to survive, but a Fighter. Boys from the Trials started to be collected in my neighborhood after my brother was shot. Peacekeepers, they were everywhere. They thought they were working for the good of the People. That explains why they put the boys in internment camps…for the good of the People. _

_They were so STUPID! That's when they started to train the girls. My eldest sister was the very beginning, and then the other girl in my family, but I was too young. So, I ran out to the interment camp where my second brother waited next to the fence for me to bring food. We shared a piece of bread. The only thing I got at the house for breakfast and lunch. _

"_How many people?" I had asked. By this time I was five and knew that there were deaths in the camp. This was my first question every day. _

"_Six." I flinched. That was a high number. "Two of them got in fight. Four of them tried to jump a group of Peacekeepers." He didn't blink at his words. He just tore into the bread and shoved piece after piece in his mouth. I looked down at my small hands wishing I could do something, wishing I wasn't so weak. "Hey, don't cry Maxie," his hand came through the fence wiping the rolling tears from my cheeks. "I'll be outta here soon." _

"_Promise?" I breathed looking up at him before sticking out my small pinky. _

_He wrapped his pinky around mine holding onto my hand that way. "Promise," he told me in a small voice. _

"_HEY YOU!" A husky voice shouted and he stood up quickly. _

"_Maxie! Run!" _

"_Ryan!" I shouted as I got to my feet. _

"_Maxie, run now!" I turned around and headed for the woods that I had first come from. I made it into the trees. My brother, Ryan, turned to face the Peacekeeper who had a pistol out, holding it down to his side. "Listen, all I was doing was talking to my sister. I'll get right back to work." _

"_So, I should punish her too?" The Peacekeeper lifted his gun pointing it at his chest. Ryan shook his head. "Call her back!" _

_My brother shouted his defiance over and over. The Peacekeeper ordered the same thing, and I just watched. I couldn't move to do anything as my legs trembled beneath me. I was weak. When the Peacekeeper said it again Ryan shouted at the top of his lungs. "KILL ME! LET HER LIVE AND KILL ME!" I stepped from behind the trees as the Peacekeeper pulled the trigger. The shot rang in my ears, and I could barely hear myself screaming. _

"Maxine! Ms. Maxine! Wake up! You're dreaming!" I was shaken awake and suddenly I was facing the Peacekeeper that stayed in the room across from me. "It was just a dream," he whispered and I nodded. "You're awake now," it seemed almost like a promise and I nodded again unable to do anything else. "Are you okay?" The softness of his voice reminded me of the way my brother had comforted me about the deaths that went on around me. Suddenly, I was in tears.

This boy I barely knew pulled me close and held onto me as I cried. My body heaved with sobs that I couldn't seem to stop. He didn't say anything. He didn't tell me to be quiet or to calm down; he just let me cry because he knew that was exactly what I needed. When my sobs turned into hiccups he tucked me back in under the covers and told me to wait one second while he disappeared.

When he came back he had a noisemaker that he plugged into the wall and turned on. Slowly he flipped through until he found the sound of the woods with owls and other small creatures. "If you start to have a bad dream listen for the owl," he told me in that same soft voice. "You'll be able to pull yourself out of it." I nodded even though it wasn't all bad. I got to see my brother for that small time. I was almost able to pretend that I was little again with my long dirty-blonde hair back. "Listen for the owl," he reminded me once more, and then he told me goodnight and disappeared out the door again leaving me in the dark.

Staring at the wall I listened to the sound of the woods. For a little while it was just crickets in the darkness. It dragged on until I was able to close my eyes and pretend I could see the stars. Then there was the owl and my eyes popped open and the stars vanished. I waited again for the owl, and once it did sound I closed my eyes again. _"Listen for the owl," _I reminded myself as I drifted off again. It was all I could ask, to want to sleep. It was even more to want to sleep after all the nightmares. If they kept me up at night then I would never sleep again.

I could hear the owl though, even as I drifted and every time I latched onto it making sure that reality was where my body was: underneath the covers, in the base where Gale Hawthorne kept his men. That way I wouldn't be in my head where I fought for survival and sanity, and where my brother died over and over again. Mercilessly, my head would pound me until my river of tears made my pillow a soaked mess and I rolled into it. With that noise maker, and the kindness of that boy across the hall, I was able to control it. Slowly, I began to…

Yet, still, it wasn't always enough.

My tears had woken me up and I was fighting to keep myself from trembling as I realized the power was off. It was for a few moments and I couldn't feel the air on my face from the fan. When it did reboot I could see the light come on in the hallway that was always on. I slid from bed and snuck to the door opening it just slightly. Justin was gone. His light was off, but his door was wide open. That's why he hadn't woken me up while I was screaming.

There's was a deep noise behind me and I turned around suddenly jumping at the sound. It took a few moments for my brain to realize it was the owl from the noisemaker. I flipped my lights on just to assure my heart which was going at a rapid pace inside my chest. Its jump to explosion wouldn't be a huge one.

Carefully, I turned on the balls of my feet back to the door before stepping out into the hall light where I pulled my dirty-blonde hair down from its ponytail. "Justin," I hissed down the hall. I don't know what I expected. Maybe he would leap from his room after all and make me scream and then laugh at him. Maybe he would turn down the hallway with a gun saying someone was in the building and that he was only protecting me. No such luck.

Taking silent steps I walked down the different halls. My footfalls made no noise as the sheer size of the place swallowed me whole. Meeting a door at the end of one hall made me angry as I grabbed the knob and began to pull it open. Honestly, I expected a closet. My luck would be to find a closet as the first dead end. How wrong I was.

Instead, it was a large gym with wall to wall equipment. There were punching bags and weights. There were definite spots dedicated to different moveable equipment that not only looked strange by torturous. At the center of the room was none other than a fighting ring and the person lying in the center was Justin: pale, sweaty, and possibly crying. His brown hair was glistening in the light along with the rest of his muscles which looked tense as if he had been lifting weights for hours.

"Ju—," a door opened on the other side of the room and I slid back into the shadows of my own doorway keeping myself from calling out his name.

The girl that walked in made my heart sink as she kneeled down next to him moving the hair from his face. Her healthy looking body with the sensuous curves sent me hugging my thin body that never seemed to fill out like hers had with muscle. Her curls made me envious along with her bright, rich eyes. No doubt she was from a rich family and she had gotten everything she ever wanted in her life. When Justin opened his eyes and met her with a gracious look, I realized she had gotten him too.

There was a touch to my shoulder and I whipped around to who it was. "Gale…" I sighed in relief as he stood over me massively.

"Did the power outage scare you?" Gale wondered looking down at me skeptically.

"No, it wasn't the power outage." I shook my head.

Gale looked over me and smirked as he realized who was in the room. "Brier? He's a good soldier. He'd probably be good for you." My face turned bright red and went stern as I straightened up defensively. "Hey," he held up his hands smiling, "I didn't see anything." Like that, the leader of the Peacekeepers turned his back to my snooping and walked off before turning down a hall still smiling and slightly laughing at me.

I mumbled, "jerk," under my breath and then turned back to the doorway. Inside the room Justin was on his feet and hitting a punching bag roughly, but it swung wildly with his force making him seem more frustrated. I slipped into the room and made my way to him before grabbing the back of the bag and letting him punch away at it. He didn't even question it. He just let his anger out leaving me to using serious muscle power that I hadn't used in months and months. The other girl was gone, and I pretended I wasn't there. Maybe, he would just be able to get it all out. Punch until his hands bled, or scream at the top of his lungs, it didn't matter. He just needed something to do so that he could feel better.

"I'm sorry," his weight was suddenly against the bag and he had moved around it to look at me. "I come in here when I don't know what to do. He wiped his nose carefully and then sunk to the floor. He yanked off the gloves on his hands and threw them at his feet where there was only a small bit of space between our toes. I slid down with him and pulled my knees to my chest as he pulled his towel from his waistline and wiped his face. I stayed quiet mostly because I didn't know what to say. I didn't have to say anything though because he spoke up: "Have you ever lost anything Max?"

My eyes went to his where I waited to see if he had connected the dots. Had I spoken his name before when I was screaming? It didn't matter it was out. "Ryan died when I was five. I watched him get shot by one of the Peacekeepers." My next breath was deep and it swirled around the lump in my throat that wouldn't go down. No matter how hard I tried, it wouldn't go away.

Justin nodded as he moved his hand in the pockets of his shorts before pulling out a small square of paper. He handed me the picture and the couple on the picture made me smile for some reason. The man looked tall and possibly scary, but he looked at the women next to him with soft eyes. She smiled up at him with the same caring eyes Justin had. Immediately I knew these were his parents. "My father died in the revolution fighting for the freedom of our people." I looked at Justin as he smiled proudly. Then his face dropped as I turned my attention to the woman in the picture. "My mom…she died this morning from cancer…" Justin stood back up and headed to the weights that he pushed up. It was obvious it was too heavy for him and I got up quickly and rushed to him so that I could spot if need be.

"Justin?" I looked up to see that girl back again. When she noticed what Justin was doing she ran over and yelled at him, "Put the weights up," she snapped with harsh words, "now, dammit!" Justin continued and I let him not saying a word. When he did finish with whatever number of reps that he set in his head, I helped him set the weights down and then I gave him back his picture. "I'm going to get you back to your room."

"No," Justin's words had a bite and I stepped back from the whole conversation. "I'll go by myself. You can go to bed Delany. I'll be fine." He stood up and grabbed my hand pulling me around the weights. Soon, we were out of the room and heading toward our bedrooms. "She just needs to back off!" The side of his fist hit the wall and I blinked, but I made sure not to flinch. He didn't scare me.

When we reached my room his face went blank for a moment as he thought. There was this longing to just go and shut himself off from the world, but he had been taking care of me; so, he was contemplating if he should put me to bed first. "You go to bed," I whispered and he looked over at me. There was a moment where confusion passed over his features, so I kindly grabbed his arm and pulled him over to his room flipping on the light. "You go to bed first this time. I'll be okay." Justin nodded and changed his shirt before climbing into bed. "Everything will be back to normal before you know it…" It was almost a promise, but I wouldn't allow myself to assure him a commitment. I had heard too many of those commitments broken, and there didn't need to be any more of them.

I sat on the edge of his bed as he laid there like a scared child. "I just should have been there. I should have gone home…" His words made my heart constrict painfully, but he never looked at me. Somewhere inside me, I was glad that he hadn't so that he wouldn't feel compelled to comfort me when he was the one in pain.

"She knows you love her," my words came out as a breath as I stood and went to his door to turn out the lights. "Goodnight Justin."

"Goodnight Max,"

I made my way into my room and turned off the sound maker. My lights stayed off as I slipped into bed and listened to everything around me. I wouldn't sleep that night even though I closed my eyes and bowed my head to the silence. It was only because I couldn't think of anything else to do. Eventually, my night ended as I stared at the ceiling looking for some kind of answer that didn't exist: _How does a broken person heal the one that saved them?_

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**What do you think? Let me know. I love to hear from you guys. It makes my day. Tell me what you do like or tell me what you don't like! Go ahead. I can take it. **

**Sincerely,**

**wisegirlindisguise**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey all I really like this chapter so I thought I'd put it up sooner rather than later because I love you guys 3 ... sometimes! Oh well. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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Gale and I spent more a more time over the next couple weeks. It was mostly because he had finally let me start to work out again. I got to use the gym again which meant I got to punch the bag until my knuckles bled. He usually would force me to where the gloves, but Justin didn't make me when he was off in his own world. Of course that meant I had to wait until he was off in his own world. I didn't mind.

I liked feeling the bag's harsh surface grind my skin. With each punch it would leave my knuckles red. When they were sufficiently blistered I would switch to weights. Unfortunately, the nurses frowned at me with this depressing look every time I did work without gloves. That day, I was definitely working with gloves though. Gale was standing on the other side of the bag in his ratty gym clothes. He was holding the bag watching me as I worked on my form.

"Pull your elbows in closer to your side." Little comments like that made me mad. I had been fighting for years and he had the nerve to tell me that I was doing something wrong. My next punch to the bag was a little harder and he smirked. He knew he was pissing me off. I hadn't reverted at all in my weeks of training. However, the nurses and Gale wouldn't let me anywhere near the boxing matches the soldiers had on Thursday nights. No matter how much I begged to go. "Pull your elbows in Max!"

"Shut-up!" I spat before slamming my fist into the bag. I could hear Gale grunt as he struggled to hold the bag in place. It was my turn to smirk. Suddenly, he was in a fit of laughter and was telling me I was doing a good job. He handed me a water bottle and we sat down on the floor sipping at the full water bottles. We were enjoying ourselves too before the redhead from the hovercraft came in and handed a paper to Gale that made his face fall.

"Pull the men together. These people are ready to fight back, and we're going to give them a fair fight." Gale got to his feet and the girl nodded before rushing out of the room. He started to mutter something about the Hunger Trials and my ears honed in on it. "I've got to go Max," he said suddenly pulling me to my feet. "I'll be back in time so that I can take you to my house for dinner. My wife's been dying to meet you, along with my little girl." I nodded, but he didn't say much else. He wouldn't make any promises in reality, but he didn't have to. He always came back…

That's when it clicked.

I watched him go with wide eyes. He was going to fight people from one of the arenas? Did they know how dangerous that was? At all times there were hundreds of fighters that stood around ready to kill anyone that challenged them.

Who all was he taking?

My feet automatically started me at a run as I headed back to the living dorms. Fear sunk into my every bone and I had to find my lungs just so I could breathe. They wouldn't take a comrade that was so young. Not to one of these raids. They couldn't be so clueless as to the dangers they were submersing themselves in along with every man they took with them. He was practically fresh out of training!

I rounded the bend into my hall and I was already shouting. "Justin!" I slid to a stop outside of his door. I was covered in sweat. I was panting. I was angry, pissed, upset, and I probably smelled bad on top of it. Plus, I had caught Delany leaving Justin's room only two nights before. I had actually been sticking clear of him. There was no time to do that now. I didn't care anymore. There he was. I shook my head blinking as if the picture would go away. "You can't go."

"This is what I do Max. No big deal. I'll be back later." Justin looked over at me as he tightened the straps of his uniform so that they fit him right. When he reached for his gun I grabbed it first. "Give it back Max." I shook my head and he held out his hand a little closer. "Max," he said my name again with a little more force. "Maxine! Give me my gun." I slid his gun back into his hand and he slid it into a holster at his side before he hugged me carefully. "I'll be back," he promised making my heart lift slightly. After ignoring him for forty-eight hours he still found the kindness to comfort me when he was the one diving in to danger.

"We have a dinner party to go to tonight. So you'd better be back." Gale had said I could invite a person to take with me. Justin was it. I didn't want anyone else. I wanted Gale and Justin to come back. That was all. Yet, he took it almost like a joke. He chuckled and nodded before he got his helmet.

He ruffled my hair with a small smile. Justin threw his words over his shoulder as he walked away: "I'll be back later Max. Pressed and ready to go to dinner." His walk out made my heart sink. How could he do this? He made me feel so stupid all of the time. I didn't even understand how. My stomach got all clenched up when he smiled at me. When Justin would hug me I would just cling to him as if I could keep him there forever.

It was stupid petty feelings. I had heard girls talk about it before: liking someone. They even talked about it at the arena, how they had a boy waiting for them for when they won and retired from the Hunger Trials. Chances were they wouldn't survive, but at least they had something to do when they were too old for it. Maybe when their hair grew out again they would be able to cover all the scars on their faces and necks. Then they could beautiful. Or, they could know a boy in the Trials who thought the scars were beautiful.

My dad had told me when I heard their conversations to keep walking. "Those girls are distracted. You can win because you're not like them Maxine." I would wrap my knuckles as I walked. I even nodded to his words and believed him.

That was what I was doing now. The tape swirled around my hand in a rhythm that I had perfected long ago. Soon I was at the gym door flexing my hand in and out of a fist until the tape was comfortable. My radio piece was tucked into my ear and I searched carefully for the station that the deployed crew was using for the day. When I found it I found the courage to open the door to the gym and make my way inside to the vacant room.

The nurses were gone. Gale was long gone with his squadron and I could hear his voice as he explained the mission while I picked a punching bag to take out any emotion I had on. _"Listen up and then stay quiet. You'll move when I say and that's it. Any wrong move, no matter your rank or intention, will get you suspended." _I poised my hands and kept my eyes on the bag that didn't move under my gaze, but I couldn't move. Not without a command.

"_Ready," _Gale's voice was comforting. On his side of the radio I could hear the door to his van open. There was a moment when it was only footsteps and then there was nothing until: _"Forward," _Immediately, I start to hit the bag. My knuckles slam against the bag and I throw punch after punch. After a few minutes it starts to hurt, but I don't give in.

Jab. Jab. Hook. Cross. I don't duck. I don't dodge. This thing doesn't fight back, but then again no one ever fought back against me. It carries on. There are another few minutes when the image starts to come to mind:

The last girl I had fought was curled up against the cage wall. The bars probably hurt her back, but she wouldn't care if she could get away. Jab. Jab. Hook. Jab. The last punch goes to the face and her already broken nose begins to gush more blood. Adrenaline starts to circulate inside my system, and suddenly I'm in that mindset. The one I had escaped for months and months on end. Had it already been a year? More?

_"Halt," _I stop, but my hands stay up. She won't get me. I won't let my guard down. This slow of pace is just to make the fight more interesting. Looking down on her I can see her wide eyes. Her right eye seems to swell up as I watch her. The black eye that has formed so quickly only makes smile proudly. Then it's there, that look in her eyes. She looks scared, like a small child that was shoved to the ground by the bigger kid. As the smallest girl in the Hunger Trials, it's nice to know. She's begging for mercy with that look. It didn't matter. She would get no such pleasure. She was lucky enough I was giving her a break. I'm about to ignore orders and finish her off when there's a new order.

_"Move," _I pull myself together and drop my hands as I stalk toward the boxing ring. Ducking under the ropes I settle into my new vantage point from across our restricted space. Now the opponents up and she's ready. _"Wait," _my movements pause with the order. _"Go, go, go," _I go after her immediately and send punch after punch. She's not going anywhere though. She takes the blows like she's made of foam. All her features seem to stay taught no matter how hard I hit.

Ten minutes pass and I can't stop. No matter what I think of, it won't stop. I have to take her down. I have to win. I want to see that gleam of pride in my father's eyes. Twenty minutes. Maybe the gleam isn't pride at all. What if it's that cocky air my mother had already spoken of so often? She had always said Father had it. When he won something he got it because he was selfish. He was a selfish man she loved. That's why she had let him train us at least, so he would be happy. That way he wouldn't mope about the house or beat up on her and the rest of us. Of course the situation wasn't much different. The only difference was that death was imminent to the failures…

Thirty minutes have come and gone and now I'm sweating bullets, but I'm not allowed to stop. There are no orders from the other side and there are only sounds of men and women screaming. Some are in fear for those smart enough to flee. Most are the sounds of someone heading into war, but that's not what this is. Is it?

Of course it is.

My father always said that you treat every fight like its war. You're fighting for your life, so treat it that way. Even if it is only one on one.

_"Stop!" _My hands fall to my sides and I fall to the floor exhausted. _"Let the rest of them go. Load up the rest of the traitors into the vans. We'll ship them to the prisons immediately." _I come back to the actual world and stare at the ceiling. I'm in the gym and I've just beat a dummy trying to reduce flexible foam to a pile of broken bones covered in skin. My arms hurt, and I could already tell the difference between the sweat on my forehead and the tears that are falling to the floor. _"No exceptions, they all go to prison." _

I should be in one of those trucks on the way to Panem Prison. I was an exception, and now there will be no more. I should rot because I'm a traitor. I've killed people simply because my dad told me to and I will always be built to take orders. I will never recover because I'll be looking for someone to tell me exactly what to do. No matter who I'm with and what I'm doing I will hunt down their every weakness so that when I get the order I can take them down. Easy. I am a traitor and I should rot just like the rest of them.

_"Max, we know you're listening, so we think you should know," _It's Justin's voice there and I try to pull myself together as if I'll be caught lying there in a crumbled form in the center of the boxing ring that I'm not supposed to go near. _"Your dad has been arrested." _I dissolve into more tears and rip the piece out of my ear before finally letting my fatigue take over to a point where I think I'll never move again.

I should rot along side my father.

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**Tell me what you think. I love to hear from you guys whether it's good or bad. **

**Sincerely, **

**wisegirlindisguise**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello all. I thought I'd post a new chapter since I have a new one. This one focuses more on her occurring life rather than her past because something interesting happens. I'll try and work on present focus, and I think it gets better from here. Enjoy. **

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Sitting at Gale's table is terribly awkward. My fork scraped across my plate and it makes this awful noise that sends Justin to look at me. It's not a glare, and he's not mad. He's honestly concerned for my mental state. Then again I can pull off fine for a very long time and he would never be the wiser. Why does he care anyway? He's got a girl back at the base that would spend hours just curling her hair for him.

I shift uncomfortably and settle my legs under the table so that he can't see any of the bare skin of my thighs in the dress I'm wearing. I've only worn the dress in order to look presentable for Koda, Gale's wife. I've avoided makeup at all costs, and intend on it staying that way. It wasn't questioned for the night because my eyes were still slightly puffy from the tears that had carried on until the soldiers got back.

"Okay Zelle," Koda announces and I can already see the complaint on Zelle's face who is four and as stubborn as ever, "time for bed."

"Mommy, I wanna hang out—,"

"…with the big kids," Koda completes and lifts her from table before walking off toward the back of the house.

Gale smiles at them as they go and stands collecting our plates. "She and I will be back in a few minutes. If you'd like to move into the study then we can talk a little more privately without prying ears." As if to prove his point about listening ears, Zelle runs back out into the dining area running off with her pajama pants. Gale immediately sets down the plates and grabs her on the fly by before throwing her over his shoulder. "Bed time Munchkin."

"Daddy put me down!" Her shrill voice would have gotten on my nerves but the way she kicks and struggles only make me laugh. When Justin notices my laughter he joins in and a sense of comfort passes over the room finally.

In order to be kind both Justin and I clean up the dining area. As we load the dishwasher Justin is watching me intently. "Take a picture Justin."

"What?" His question makes me laugh as I look up from rinsing off a plate.

"Take a picture," I say again and then I smirk, "it'll last longer."

His laugh is sarcastic and I could tell that he'd much rather punch me in the arm. "Can't I just enjoy spending time with you?" For a moment he looks like he's hurt as if what I've said is an insult of some sort. If he took it that way then he needed to walk away soon because 'sweet' wasn't in my repertoire. As well as, no one had ever found me beautiful. There was a reason the boys didn't distract me at the fights because I never had a chance to develop that girly side that craved appreciation from the opposite sex. Of course, it was there somewhere. I just hadn't dug it up yet.

"Not sure your girlfriend would like that." Before I know it the sentence is out of my mouth. My face starts to turn red. Inside my head, I'm kicking myself. That was a stupid thing to say. Not only that, but now I've opened a whole new can of worms.

"Girlfriend?" Crap.

"Yes, girlfriend," there was no getting out of it now… "I saw Delany Dussenburg sneaking out of your room. I'm not stupid Justin." I slide the last plate into the dishwasher and close it before leaning against the counter farthest away from him. "I was raised in the Trials not in no-man's-land. Believe it or not, I've seen couples around."

This doesn't shock him. The fact that I had a life and knew life was no surprise. He was definitely offended though. "I know that Max." For the first time all night he faced me, and I mean really faced me. There was a moment where he just stared into my features searching for an answer that wouldn't be there, that _couldn't _be there. Through that reveal there would be weakness; and I would not be weak, especially not to him. "I know you're not an idiot," his voice dropped leading to a deepness that surprised me. It wasn't lust parse, but there was a certain affection there that made my walls start to tumble down.

I wanted a snappy comeback, something that would leave him aghast and his mouth a gape. I couldn't find anything to say to him though. When my mouth moved to form a word it fell slack again in confusion. Before long I just turned away. Then it tumbled out, without a warning, "Then why was she in your room?" I suppose I meant to ask it in my head to him. It was never truly a phrase that should be voiced. My faced began to redden and I closed my eyes so that I could attempt to block the feeling of his stare.

"She snuck in." No matter how many pieces of me could have told me to say he was a liar, I could hear truth in his words. I opened my eyes and he had turned away from me to look out the window that seemed to capture District 2 from its sharpest angles. "She was talking about how she wished I would just admit that I love her, and that we should just go back to how it was because that's when it was _perfect._" His arms were tense which seemed to define every muscle from his lower arm up to his shoulders.

Before my gaze could travel to admire the contours of his back it shifted back to his eyes that seemed to have darkened with some sort of thought. Unfortunately, my judgment was ill, and my lack of experience led me to stupidity. "Why won't you admit that you love her then?"

This breathless laugh escaped his lips in the most hopeless form. His next move was to run his fingers back through his short hair. "Because I don't love her," he turned as he spoke so that his lower back was against the counter. With a military precision, he crossed his arms over his shoulders. When I thought he was about to tense up again he relaxed into the most human form I had seen in a while. He was just a hunched over defeated man. "She just thinks I do because I can talk to her bout…things."

"Like what?" The conversation had already gone out of my hands. I didn't have any control over what I said. More obviously, I didn't have control over what he felt comfortable telling me.

There was a moment when I thought the conversation had ended that he just stared at the floor in front of him. Every now and then I could see the slightest twitch in his lip as if he had found what he was going to say and then changed his mind. There was an edge of frustration in his features just before he actually spoke that I wasn't sure if it was directed at me, or at himself. "I was with Delany when my mom first got diagnosed. She got all the crap that someone could possibly get from a boyfriend, and she broke up with me as soon as I started to get back to normal." I went completely silent. I didn't need to say anything it turns out because it was only a break in his words to gather his thoughts. "Just last year she started popping up again. She showed up in the Peacekeepers Academy and then she showed up at my compound. She started saying she wanted me back. She just wanted to go back to how it was so that we could pretend all of the crap never happened. When I said no, she went berserk. Then she got worse when you showed up."

"Why do I matter?" That had intrigued me especially and I found him watching me carefully as he braced his arms against the counter behind him.

"She really didn't care when your head was shaved. She figured you weren't my type so you weren't a threat to her _plan. _When you got your hair back she was convinced she had to work a little harder to keep me interested – don't know how that would work if I was never interested in the first place." He shook his head and walked across the kitchen to me where he leaned against the counter space next to me. I jumped up onto the counter sitting there silently to hear the rest of his story. "That night in the gym took her last shred of sanity, and that's when her tendencies turned stalker. She's broken into my room three times now and I just avoid my room until she leaves."

"So when I saw her leave…" I worked it out in my head.

"I was probably across the compound." Justin looked over at me and I could see the truth behind his words.

"Then I guess I can't be mad at you." I muttered as I realized how the blue and green colors in his eyes seemed to be at war fighting over which would show the most. The corners of his lips tugged up into a smile and he moved a little closer. His muss of hair was dark and just long enough to run his fingers through when he was conflicted.

I should've known this was going to happen, before it even did. "You guys didn't have to do the dishes," Gale's voice cut into the kitchen from the dining room and our moment ended. The mood dissolved and Justin slid down the length of the counter slightly to create more space between us as Gale walked in. "Koda will be joining us…" his gaze traveled up to Justin's tense posture and then the way I was slumped over only a yard or so away from him, "…soon. Did I interrupt something?"

Yes. "No," we say in unison and then look at each other for a split second.

"Okay," he draws out the word and touches his scruffy chin with his fingertips before motioning to the doorway across the kitchen. "We should move into the living room for coffee. Koda is a stickler for traditions." Without a word to each other, Justin and I hurried out of the kitchen and into the living area where Koda was already seated. "These two were cleaning our kitchen for us," Gale told her as he pushed past us. "I had to drag them out by their hair." That left Koda smiling though she hadn't been lacking hospitality at any point or time, but her own daughter seemed to have drained her quickly of any energy she had.

"Well, I'm glad we have such nice people around," Koda moved herself closer into Gale as he sat down next to her. He seemed completely relaxed around her as he wrapped an arm around her in a protective way. She let him, curling into him like he was the shell around her. He was her shield.

She only moved away from him when an older woman walked into the room with a tray. On it was a pot of coffee and four cups. When she set it down she walked away only saying a few words to Koda and Gale while she completely ignored me and Justin. Koda immediately sat forward and began to pour a few cups.

"Justin, dear, how do you like your coffee?" She asked before she was about to pour it.

"Black ma'am. Thank you." After his cup was poured he took it off the tray and took one strong swig of it.

"What about you Maxine?"

"I don't drink coffee. My dad said it was bad for my training. Like a drug." The words slipped out before I could stop them. Quietly she took her cup and slid back into her spot. Her mouth could only form the slightest bit of surprise. I hadn't done anything wrong; had I? I had simply refused, and I gave her a legitimate answer. "I'm sorry," I said quietly just trying to patch the hole in the group I had just obviously created.

The rest of coffee time was horribly awkward. There were a few small conversations, but when they petered out it went back to a horrible silence. Eventually, Koda dismissed herself only kissing Gale briefly before disappearing into the back of the house with the silence of a mouse. The way she glided was graceful and her feet seemed to float above the floor effortlessly without a sound.

"She was an infantry soldier back during the war," Gale said easily as my jealousy rose about her effortless grace. "When the war was over she settled down. She didn't even want to fight anymore. Some things from war though," she threw a glance over her shoulder as if someone were watching her before speeding up, "…you can't let go." When she vanished Gale settled comfortably into silence before a look of terror crossed his features and he looked at me. "We have to talk about something, and I suggest we move out to the porch where prying ears," he motioned with his chin to the hallway's mouth as a strand of hair floated back into hiding, "can't hear us."

Simultaneously, the three of us rose and headed for the front door. Their front porch was wide and snuck out into the front yard like a fallen wall. I slipped my shoes off and let the coolness of the bricks stick to me gratefully. Just like I was attracted to the coolness, the chill seemed to be attracted to me disappearing into my blood. When we sat down, I curled my legs under me and leaned into the backing of the chair just so that I could rest in front of some of the few people I trusted.

Justin was watching me expectantly and I had a feeling that he already knew what was going on. I was the oblivious one, and by the look in his eyes I was the pitied one. "What is it?" I demanded looking from Justin to Gale as they both seemed to be considering my mood. Compared to the anger that was rising in my throat with the slightest hint of bile from the glass of wine at dinner, this was the calm before the storm.

"Max, you know we have your father; he was arrested. He's already locked away tight in the prison." Gale was the only one brave enough to talk. Justin just shook his head and looked away sipping at his black coffee like it was some kind of haven to his serenity.

"Yea, I know. What about it?" There had been no trial. I was very aware of that. After searching history on the computer data base that afternoon I knew that in the old _United States of America, _which almost seemed like a myth, that trials were required to be convicted. Then again, my father's trial could have taken all of five seconds. All they had to do was have the pictures of me and my dead brother's dragged through mud and bloody from training. I was sure they had gotten plenty of pictures of, not only me, but my home.

"He's demanding to see you. We've had to lock him in his own block because he's so dangerous to the other prisoners. He says he'll cooperate if you see him." With Gale's words I drew my knees to my chest. My arms wrapped around my knees tightly and I set my nose against my knees trying to hide the fact that I couldn't decide if I hated the man or not. "We'll give you a few days, but you do have to make a decision soon." I nodded in acknowledgment of Gale's words and then I stood.

"Justin…"

"Yea," he was standing immediately collected his coat and his hat. He wasn't in uniform but he presented himself that way as he said goodnight to Gale. Gale promised to get all the cups away as Justin helped me into my coat. "Goodnight Hawthorne."

"Goodnight Justin,"

"Goodnight Gale,"

"Goodnight Max,"

With that Justin and I walked down the drive to where there was a small car sitting for us. Justin opened the door for me and when I refused to sit in the front he opened the backdoor and I lay down in the back bench of car with my face in my hands. Justin closed the door and said nothing more as he hopped in and started the car. It only took a little bit for us to get back. We didn't say anything to each other, and I couldn't be more grateful.

Tears were rolling down my face. It was the first time I had cried since I was little… Since my eldest brother's funeral.

Why would my father want to see me? Why did he care? He didn't care about Ryan, or Amelia. He didn't care about Ray… Why in the hell would he want to see me now? Why would he care now? He didn't care. I knew that. But, part of me wanted to believe it. Maybe he wanted to see me so that he could try and start a relationship with me now, one that didn't involve daily pain and bruises.

My lungs took in the awful sob that left me gasping for air and that was when Justin strained not to look into the rearview mirror. He did stay strong though, and he wasn't able to look at me until he lifted me out of the backseat. I curled into him like a child and let him carry me through the compound. When late nights didn't exist, no one questioned us. Every good soldier was already in bed. Every commanding officer kept his head down and didn't question those in the hall unless they were an obvious newbie that needed a good smack around to round him out. We were ignored right up to my room where he set me down on my bed.

"Goodnight Max," He moved to the door and I hiccupped making him smile for a split second.

"Justin, I don't know what to do," I whispered and he immediately turned toward me. Half of his face was shadowed by the darkness of my room, but the other half only read sorrow. Soon he moved back into the darkness and his facial expressions were completely lost. The next place I could find him was sitting next to my knees on the bed.

"You don't have to go and see him." Justin's voice was smooth, and he didn't let my sadness get to him. Of course, he was trained not to, so that really meant nothing. He could be calm and collected at any point and time, and I still wouldn't know what he was feeling.

"What if he _wants _to see me though? What if he's genuine?"

The first sign of emotion bloomed in him as he ran his fingers back through his hair. I was sure it was anger. At me? At my father? "I don't think he is Max. He never has been."

"He's my father though."

"Max he put you into the fights because he wanted to see some death. That's not care," Justin looked around the room, and I watched his silhouette shift in the darkness as he hunched over almost as if I had beaten him down. "He doesn't know how to care," he muttered and then a silence grabbed us by the throats and threw us into a paralyzed state until I sat up with anger across my features.

"He is my father, and no matter what you say he will love me."

"He was willing to have you killed."

"He wanted me to be a winner."

"He wanted the glory for himself!"

"You obviously don't understand care for anyone!"

"Don't attack me like that!"

The next blow was meant to hurt. It was meant to drive the knife in and twist it until it sawed between two ribs and stuck. "You're heartless low lying scum who is attacking a man that can't even speak for himself because you arrested him! You arrested the only man left in my life because all Peacekeepers do is kill the ones I love. You have no knowledge of love or compassion."

"I don't know compassion?" His voice had risen just like mine had through the conversation and his yelling seemed to swallow mine whole and spit it back out.

"No, you—," his lips pressed against mine and he pulled me close to him. A steady hand was on my back that held me to where I began to press against his body while his other hand touched my neck. When I thought I would spit on him or bite him my thoughts went to what he really was feeling. With a few seconds to take it in, I realized I was feeling the same thing. His lips left mine and so did his hands with a suddenness that left me vulnerable and raw.

"You're the one who needs to learn something about compassion and love, Max. I'm sorry your parents weren't the ones to teach it to you. You deserve better." With a languid posture he sulked out of my room. I sat there feeling my lips tingle with a longing to be with him again. Darkness had eaten the light in my room and I was alone, utterly alone. Slowly, I fell back into my bed to stare at the ceiling.

Even more than before, I felt like I didn't know what to do. All of me wanted to see my father. Part of me wanted to see him because there was still a stupid hope that he would embrace me and tell me he loved me for once in my life. The other part of me wanted to yell at him and tell him all the things I held back when I was a little girl and still held grudges. The only confusion was which side of me would make it to the surface, and which side of me was Justin's creation…

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**Ooh la la, am I right? I make myself laugh with my humor. That fight was a little edgy. Tell me what you think! I love to get feed back and it helps me improve my writing! **

**Sincerely,**

**wisegirlindisguise**


	6. Chapter 6

**I know I've been absent, but I've been without any sort of connection for days. Vacation in the woods WOOP WOOP! Enjoy this next installment of The Hunger Trials. **

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I sat in the dark room with my hands clasped together desperately. When Justin walked in I turned away to look through the one-way mirror to the room where my father was already sitting there. His hands were chained to a loop on the top of the table. The grey jumpsuit he was wearing made the purple bags under his eyes look deeper and more sickening. We had waited weeks to take me to see him, and the prison had taken its toll on him.

He looked to the mirror and my heart sank. He must've known I was there. He looked directly into my eyes. How would he know though? He hadn't even been told it was me that was coming. My father was intuitive though. Maybe he had guessed…

"Are you ready Max?" Justin wondered. He had been allowed to wear something a little more casual. He still had this dangerous air to him though. It was almost as if the training from the Peacekeeper Academy had stuck to his physique as much as his attitude. He was all muscle and the hardness in his jaw was permanent with the tension of anger and fearlessness.

"Sure…" There was no conviction in my voice and immediately Justin attacked it.

"What's wrong?" He moved nearer to me leaning on the mirror right next to me so that his leg was almost touching mine.

"Nothing."

"Mmmmm…" he hummed and then reached behind him within his jacket. He pulled a gun from his waistline and showed it to me. "Anything happens. If he makes one wrong move, I'll make sure he's dead. He won't touch you." I watched as he slid it back into place behind his back.

"I don't even care. Let's get this over w[ith." With my hard attitude, he took it as anger. Justin followed me into the room like a regular body guard. The time in that small room had been the first time we had spoken to each other in weeks because I had no idea what to do with myself. We treated this professional, and that was all I was prepared for. Dealing with family was the hard part.

I sat down in front of my father and watched as the corners of his mouth lifted. "Baby, I knew you would come to see me."

"Don't call me that," I looked to my hands that were curled up together on the table in front of me. When my eyes moved to his hands, I noticed they were the same way. Immediately, I shifted my hands I laid them in my lap.

"You did come to see me though. Which means you care about me." The triumph in his voice, as if he'd just one a great battle, made me feel sick.

"You are my father…"

"As long as you know your priorities." Was the only thing he said and I looked up at him finally piercing him with his own brown eyes. His seemed murky with sickness, and I hoped mine were bright and angry.

"My priority is to survive; isn't it?" The sudden furiousness threw him off and he took a moment only glancing at Justin out of the corner of his eye before focusing back in on me.

"What are you—,"

"The fact that you're my father has nothing to do with my priorities." He opened and closed his mouth looking for words that never came. "You taught me to survive, but you didn't teach me love or any sort of care. So why would I give a damn if you're my father? That's nowhere in my priorities."

"I taught you to win. You're a winner because of me!" His fists slammed against the table and Justin stepped forward out of his corner with his hand twitching reflexively. I turned toward Justin and grabbed behind his back for his gun before steadily pointing it at my father. "What are you doing?"

"Everyone's the enemy, right?" The throw back of his training words made him sputter for reasoning. I cocked the gun and steadily aimed it at him. "Right?" Most people, they would've had shaking arms. If they pointed a weapon at a parent they would feel a little bit of remorse. They would second guess, but I didn't. In that moment, I couldn't have cared less about this man that claimed he was my father simply because I had his blood. He was nowhere near being my father.

Justin was suddenly there standing between me and my father. He didn't block my shot. He simply placed a hand on my arm and looked me in the eyes. "Put the gun down Max," he said calmly. He didn't show any fear that I would turn on him. Would I? No. I wouldn't turn on anyone else. This man, my _father_, deserved to die.

"She'll put it down. She wouldn't shoot me—,"

"Like hell I won't!" I shoved Justin's arm away and steadied the gun with two hands. If I fired at that moment he would be dead in seconds. There would be a hole between his eyebrows and he would slump over. I wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. I wouldn't have to worry about training ever again. He was the reason I kept going after all. Wasn't he? I had to impress him. I had to feel affection from him. I had to make him proud.

"Max, don't shoot him." Justin was there again with a hand on top of the gun pushing it down slightly.

"He deserves to die." I looked at Justin without moving the gun. Tears were starting to brim in my eyes. Justin nodded and agreed instantly. "He let Ryan die, and Amelia and Miles. Even Ray." I muttered and Justin just watched me for a few silent moments.

"You killed Ray." I turned to my father at his words.

"You let me kill Ray!" I knocked off Justin's hand and stepped forward making sure I wouldn't miss when I shot him. He would die.

"Let him rot Max." Justin suddenly said, but I couldn't take my eyes off my father this time. Justin wasn't going to distract me.

"He doesn't deserve to live." I muttered feeling the coolness of the trigger against my finger.

"He'll be locked away in a cell somewhere." Justin didn't move from his spot. He knew I was in a dangerous place now. I'm sure that if he had made the wrong move he would have had a hole in him. It wouldn't have been fatal, but it wouldn't be very comfortable. I didn't want him to take the shot any way. When I fired that gun it was intended for one person. "He doesn't deserve a quick death. You shoot him, and it'll save him from a lifetime of punishment."

I let the wheels start to click in my head. Justin had a point and suddenly my plan changed. "Fine." There was a split second and then a loud noise that blew through the room with a suddenness that made all of us jump. I threw down the gun and stepped back as Justin grabbed my arm and yanked me backwards.

"I raised you, you little bitch!" My father screamed as he clutched bent over in pain from the shot through his shoulder. He would just bleed. It wasn't a death sentence as long as someone patched it up. Justin hit a button on the wall and a siren began to blare. I was led out of the room by Justin as soon as he collected his gun and he pushed me into the small observation room we had been in earlier.

I thought he was going to yell at me. He probably thought the same thing too. That was until I started crying. My eyes burned with the tears and I had to choke back each sob hoping to just get a breath of fresh air. Justin simply leaned against a wall as I sunk down to the floor. I pulled my knees in close to myself I leaned my head against my knees to find some shred of dignity that would help me to stop the tears.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed looked out the window to the room where a bunch of Peacekeepers were rushing to try and get my father to a hospital so that he wouldn't bleed to death. "Don't lock me up. I'm sorry." I blubbered trying to find any reason to me speaking at all. "I can't go to prison. I can't be locked up with him."

"We'll see what Gale wants to do. You'll be locked in here for now though." He slipped from the room and there was this finality when I heard the lock slide shut. I had just shot a man. I shot someone outside of the Hunger Trials. I had shot my father…

For twenty minutes I sat on the floor trying to stop the tears. After those twenty minutes passed, I was still trying to find coping mechanism. I wouldn't move from my spot though. I had killed so many people before. One shot to my father and I was a mess. There was only one other death that I had caused that left me grasping for the sanity I had long since lost.

Ray and I had been climbing in the standings for the Trials. We were both making good money. Of course he was my older brother, but we were like best friends. We trained a lot together, and we challenged each other. He was the best. He was always protective when I was little. He started to take over Ryan's spot in the family when he figured out I had seen Ryan die. Immediately, he started treating me like the little sister I was.

Father had brought Ray and I out to a few rounds of fights that were just for cash. We'd fight some people and winners would go away with cash. Boys were in their own column. Girls were in their own column which meant we were safe to play and both with. It was a good chance to make life at home easier.

We were so accustomed to winning that we didn't see dying as an option, in all honesty. We were doing great. Both of us were winning and eventually we won our bracket. People, we clearly found out, were not as stupid as Father thought they were. They found out that Ray and I were siblings and that all the winnings for the whole night were going to go to one family. In the Trials, that's frowned upon because my father obviously knew he would wipe both brackets out and brought two fighters instead of one.

I remember what happened when they found out perfectly:

_We were on our way to collect our winning. Ray was telling me about a couple of his buddies who were going to go down to the Pit where they could relax and share a bottle of spirits. I had asked if I could go, but I was still too young, even though we were only three or so years apart. When we got to the man that would give us our money he told us we couldn't have it. Father got in this huge argument talking about how it was unfair. Ray and I had taken a step back and were crouched down to pick up a young puppy that was searching the ground for some scraps. Ray picked the pup up and handed it to me smiling at me. _

"_Mother won't mind. Not with all the cash we're taking home tonight." He told me and then moved toward Father who turned away from the man with a hard face. Ray grabbed Father's shoulder and was asking him questions, and then they got into a spat where they talked to each other in hushed tones. "Father, you can't let them do that. We won fair and square." _

"_They're not giving us our money until this fight happens." He hissed and brushed away Ray's hand before walking towards me and ripping the dog from my arms before shoving it off toward the parking lot and the woods. "Get ready Max. You've got one more fight." _

"_Against who Father?" I asked as he dragged me back toward the ring. He didn't answer my question as I was shoved into the ring. He immediately disappeared into the crowd. "Who am I fighting?" I asked Ray as he passed me outside the ring. He ignored me and kept walking to the other side of the ring before stepping in. "No, Ray—," _

"_LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE'VE GOT ONE MORE FIGHT FOR YOU TONIGHT. MAXINE BEAUREGARD VERSUS RAYMOND BEAUREGARD." The crowd booed with our same last name. They chucked stuff at the caging as it closed and I was left facing my brother. "FIGHT!" _

_Ray stepped forward as did I and he grabbed my arm. "Kill me." I shook my head trying to lift up my arms to fight without finding the strength. "They'll let you out and you'll go home with Father. Just kill me." _

"_I won't do it." I muttered, but he seemed to be adamant. He was the one that was going to die and I was the one that was going to move on in the Trials. We took a step back from each other and lifted our weapons. He didn't even try to fight back… _

I looked up from the floor and tried to calm the shaking in my core. But it wouldn't stop. Gale was sliding into the room rolling his eyes as a voice from the hall shouted: "She'll have a trial Hawthorne just like everyone else!" When he closed the door there were no more people around. Even the interrogation room was empty of my bleeding father.

"You feel better now?" Gale asked as he fiddled with the plastic tip of the blinds' pull string. I nodded honestly feeling like anything I had with my father was now settled. "I sure as hell hope so, for all the paperwork I'm going to have to go through I hope it did something for you." That made a breathless laugh erupt from me unexpectedly and Gale smiled. "Okay, well we have to get you back to the compound. You've been released to my custody for now."

I stumbled to my feet before working my way toward the door. "Gale,"

"Yes Max?"

"Can we go by my old house?" I wondered as he opened the door. He closed the door and leaned against it giving me a funny look. We were still inside the little room and hadn't quite revealed ourselves to the madness outside.

"Why?" He demanded as if it were the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

"I want to see my sister, and I want my dog."

Gale peeked out the door and looked down the hall each way. "If we can sneak. If anyone asks we're going straight back to District 2 so that I can put you on house arrest. Plus, you're briefing Justin on the way." It sounded like the most dangerous mission he'd ever been on, but I didn't care. At least he was willing.

"Thank you Gale."

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**Well, well, now you're going to get to meet some of her family members. See you soon, hopefully. **

**Sincerely,**

**wisegirlindisguise**


	7. Chapter 7

**This is kind of a short chapter, so please bare with me. I'll have another one up soon! I hope you enjoy. **

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We pulled up to my house where the only thing to mark our property was a rickety fence that was barely holding on. When the curtain moved in the window we knew we had been caught. The first being to make its presence known was my large dog that Ray had helped me find when I was just getting into the Trials only a few years before. I had found out later that it was a cross between and Greater Swiss Mountain Dog and a Great Pyrenees which meant it was going to be a very large dog. Of course, none of my family knew that at the time when I said he only needed a little bit of space.

His hair was thick as if he was part puff ball. The brown of his fur congregated around his eyes and didn't go much farther than his head. "Sarge!" I called out and immediately his tail started to wag at the recognition of my voice. When I pushed open the gate he greeted me with a great kiss. When he got ready to jump I held up a hand and he sat back down silently. "Good boy," I whispered as I squatted down next to him to pet the spot between his ears. His tongue rolled out of his mouth like a rolled up ribbon and then the panting began. "Where's Mother?"

Sarge turned away almost hitting me with his tail before he trotted off to the backyard where my mother was hanging laundry on the back line. Her back was to me as she worked on getting the already rusted and broken clips to stay. Sarge nudged her hand and when she turned to great him I saw the swell of her belly that protruded from beneath her clothes. Immediately, a lump formed in my throat and I had to blink a few times to fight back the urge to cry.

"Mother," she turned and looked at me with a tilted head for a few moments before she finally seemed to recognize me.

"Riley?" I nodded and she smiled fondly before turning back to her work. That had been the first time I had heard my real first name in almost thirteen years. I was seventeen, about to turn eighteen, and I hadn't heard my real name since I was five. That was the only love I would get from her.

I sighed and turned as my sister stumbled out of the house. She was around twenty now and was starting to show a belly of her own. There was a bland metal band on her left ring finger. "Maxine! What are you doing here? Did you escape from the cops?"

"No," I shook my head and hugged her as she embraced me tightly. The feeling of her swollen belly against me made the lump in my throat feel like it was crushing my windpipe. With a horrifying almost sob of a breath I tried to calm myself. No one was the wiser to my surfacing feelings.

"Oh, are they just letting you visit? You're being escorted." This threw me off and I tilted my head slightly in confusion.

"No. I never went to jail Lily. I'm just here," I told her as I honestly believed I was a free person. Technically speaking, I wasn't at this point. I needed to be back in District 2 where I was subdued to house arrest. However, Gale or Justin didn't treat me like a prisoner. They just treated me like another soldier around the base.

"Then who are they?" She lifted her chin slightly to the space behind me. Turning I saw that Justin and Gale were very close to catching up to me.

As if it was rehearsed Justin slipped a hand around my waist. When I was about to shove him away he spoke: "I'm her fiancé. This is my," Justin turned to Gale who gave him a wary look, "uncle." That seemed to make Gale relax. He didn't have to play dad on the trip.

"You're getting married!" Lily hugged me again and I looked at Justin desperately that seemed to chuckle under his breath. My agreement to her question was very sarcastic, but she didn't seem to register it at all. Lily had always been the lucky one out of the kids. She was the only one not trained to fight because she was going to pass on the family genes. That was her job after all. She got to be the one that got married and had kids that would be raised to fight just like we all had.

"Speaking of," I finally got out as she let go of me, "who are you getting married to?" I asked Lily as she began to fiddle with her ring.

"Terrence," she smiled though it looked fake on her lips. The marriage was arranged when she was probably little so that they could pass on the fighter genes. Terrence was a brute of a guy that had been fighting for years. His family held a title because of his older brother who had won one of the Trials. When our family showed good genes for fighting it was set up immediately. The families were breeding winners.

"He's nice," I shrugged though I had only talked to the guy only twice in my life. I knew he was a cold blooded killer. Then again, so was I… I had just shot my father.

"He is," her agreement was immediate but then she seemed to double back on her word. "He just gets in those moods. That's why I'm staying here with Mother so that we can be pregnant together and take care of each other." She turned to look at our mother. Just faintly I could see the signs of a bruise on her jaw line that made my fists clench. Justin squeezed my hip and I looked up at him frowning. We couldn't get into anymore trouble, not today.

I leaned farther into Justin as his hand relaxed against me. With the slightest of movements and twitches my shirt rode of on my hips so that his fingertips grazed my skin at certain points in time make me shiver. To stay sane, I had to find the balance between my anger and my lust.

"Mother?" I asked turned slightly to face my mother who had turned away from the hanging of laundry and was now folding what she had just taken down. She worked quietly and diligently only recognizing me with a careful look up that hid any emotion. "Do you mind if I take Sarge with me back to District 2?" She nodded just as carefully before continuing on. Somewhere in her eyes I could catch the sheen of tears, but I didn't want to point it out to Lily who was already looking at me in disbelief.

The look in her eyes seemed to recognize what my taking Sarge meant. I was leaving, and I wasn't going to come back. After I took my best friend away there was no need to return to this place. This place that had sapped every bit of my childhood and now I was staring adulthood in the face alone.

Looking to Justin, he seemed to be scanning the area as if it were dangerous. I slipped into the house searching around for the only thing I needed to take with me. In the girl's room where my sisters and I used to sleep I walked over to the spot where I had kept my things. Digging through the blankets that had made up my bed I finally found a gold chain that Ryan had brought from the Capitol.

Hanging from it was a small gold pendent. The pendent had a white rose on it that was made out of ivory which was all the rage in the Capitol when they had left. Other than that it was very simple. When I hooked it around my neck the weight of the charm settled into the hollow of my throat with a familiarity that I loved. Father had called it an obstruction. If someone was able to grab my necklace in a fight then it would give them the advantage. So it had stayed here in my blankets for years and years with me only wearing it at night when I climbed into the mess and finally got to rest.

"Max!" Justin's voice echoed through the house and I called out to him from the small room as I took one more looked around. Justin came into the room and slipped his hand around my waist again. What I thought had only been an act became very real in my mind instantly. Warmth grew in my stomach and made my heart thump a little faster. "Your mother is getting restless talking to Gale."

"Talking?" I cocked and eyebrow looking up at him with a smile.

"Well, nodding," he shrugged. When he kissed my forehead I closed my eyes basking in the feeling and the way he seemed to care for me. When his lips found mine I began to melt under his touch. He held me closer than usual and let our bodies press against one another. The heat inside burned like a fire, but it was so invigorating that I couldn't help but love it. Sarge appeared in the doorway and began and slow growl in the back of his throat that warned Justin that he was far too close. Parting from him only when he allowed me I sank back into a calm hold in his arms that almost hung me from him. "We should probably go. Do you need anything else from here?"

I untangled myself from his arms suddenly aware of how helpless I felt when he was taking care of me. When he was holding me he was protecting me. However, he could drop me and put me back into danger whenever he wanted to. I was at him every whim, and I didn't like it. I was strong and could protect myself. I didn't need him, and I couldn't slip into that state of mind of requiring him to go on. "No," I muttered and headed for the door. I swiped my hand over Sarge's head and he huffed, content before trotting after me toward the front door.

Gale was already waiting in the front yard next to the car that he unlocked and climbed into. I slipped into the backseat calling Sarge in after me effectively taking up all of the space next to me. So when Justin walked out he had to slide into the front seat where he sunk in slightly and covered his eyes for a moment. My gaze slid to the window when Gale eyed me in the mirror. He started the car and let it roll away from my former home without a question letting me stupidly believe that the subject would disappear when the silence faded.

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**This was more of a present set chapter and has to do with the poor relationship with her parents. Tell me what you think so that I can improve. I really appreciate it. **

**Sincerely,**

**wisegirlindisguise**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello all! This chapter is a little fluffier than most because honestly, a person's life can't suck ALL THE TIME. There's got to be some happiness in it somehwere. So here's her happiness. Enjoy. **

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I was in the gym wailing on a punching bag. Justin was standing next to me and was watching me intently as if I would be able to rip off the gloves he had forced on me while I was punching the bag. The bag swung wildly, but he wouldn't step behind it to keep it in check. He used to slide behind the bag to hold it still, and that's when I was able to take off the gloves and finally just let go of my frustration and actually train.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Justin had wondered on one of my breaks. I had guzzled down water and not looked him the eye before I got back to my feet and headed toward the weights. "Max, do you want to talk about it?" He asked again not letting any impatience slip into his tone.

"Do you want to shut up?" I grumbled as I began my reps.

"What did I do?" He demanded his hands hovering nervously as if the weight I had would be too much to bear.

Nothing. I wanted to tell him that he didn't do anything wrong and that I was the one being stupid. That was the only thing I could think to do though. I could pretend to be angry and I could take it out on myself. My frustration boiled over so I slammed the weights back into their hold and sat up putting my head in my hands.

At the other end of the gym the door opened and a woman stepped in. Her hair was long and dark braided down her back. She looked strong, a lot stronger than a lot of the girls I had seen in my lifetime and that was saying a lot. When Gale stood next to her I could see this utter resemblance between them. There was also this chemistry that floated between them too. He touched her arm and she slapped his hand away motioning toward the gym with the slightest tilt of her head.

"Hey Max?" Gale bellowed across the room and I cocked a brow at him. "Come here?" I stood immediately and headed toward him and this woman. I threw Justin a desperate look as if I was a child in trouble, but then I pulled back on my composure shaking the woman's hand. "Max this is—,"

"I can introduce myself Gale." She rolled her eyes and gripped my hand a little firmer. "Hi, my name's Katniss Everdeen. Dope head here is my childhood friend and thought I should come in and talk to you about some stuff."

"What stuff?" I asked curiously turning toward Gale for a moment.

"Anything." Katniss assured me and motioned toward the door. "If you show me to your room I'm sure we can get a little more privacy from Dope Head and Lost Puppy over here." She jerked a thumb at Gale and then over at Justin who had big wide eyes in bewilderment. "You'd think he's never seen me before."

"He hasn't. Your maternity leave has kept you out of here ever since that one joined up," Gale told her and opened the door that led away from the gym and back towards the dorms. Katniss walked out immediately and I hurried after her before Gale closed the door and stayed behind in the gym with Justin.

I soon figured out that when Katniss wasn't around Gale that she was a quiet person. It wasn't a shy sort of quiet. It was more a tough quiet that let you know she was going through something all the time. I wondered if she was actually suffering silently. If she was, how long could she go on suffering without an outlet?

My room was a quiet bland place. As Katniss looked around I could tell she thought the same thing. In all my time at the base I had never hung anything on the wall. Sarge trotted in as if he had been patrolling the halls and now he was ready to watch me. I sat down on the floor as he sat next to me watching Katniss warily. "It's okay." I whispered and he calmed down slightly, but he was still tense.

Katniss sat down at my small desk turning the chair so that she could look at me. "So, Max, is it?" I nodded and she did the same. "Gale tells me that you have nightmares, a lot." I nodded slower this time as I thought about what other secrets Gale was giving out to the general public that didn't know me.

"Yea," I said anyways. She didn't deserve the forming anger. Gale needed it.

Katniss immediately recognized the anger in my eyes and held up her hands. "Gale doesn't mean to be rude. Ever since the war he's been a little more aware of people even if he's not helping in the right way. He just wanted to give you someone to talk to that's been through something similar."

"And you know something about the Hunger Trials?" I demanded looking at her with accusing eyes. She was too old to have been a part of the Trials. She had probably been around eighteen when the Trials went on. By then she wouldn't have lived with her parents. She wouldn't have let herself be in the Trials.

"No, I was never a part of the Hunger Trials." Katniss admitted. I wanted to laugh in her face. Of course she hadn't. "I was a part of the Hunger Games almost twenty years ago." My jaw dropped and I watched her unbelievably. The very sentence seemed to make her tense. It seemed like therapy would have to help someone say that to someone they didn't know very well. I know I wouldn't be able to say it to a complete stranger.

"You're THE Katniss Everdeen." I said stupidly feeling like I couldn't form any other words other than my disbelief. It hadn't clicked when Gale introduced me, but this was the girl that had given the world something new to think about. She was the reason there were no more Hunger Games, her and her… "Where's Peeta?" I asked realizing she was missing a person.

"He's at home in District 12 with our daughter." Katniss smiled in a pensive manor and seemed to lose focus as she thought about her family.

"Daughter?"

"She's two. Her name is Prim, named after—,"

"Your sister." We shared a moment of silence as if her death was required to be celebrated. _May she rest in peace. _I almost whispered it out loud, but I kept myself from it. Prim had always been the person I had wanted to meet. I just wanted to talk to her once. When her death came I had cried telling my parents that it wasn't fair. That had been around the same time we had left the Capitol for the Boons.

We didn't say much for a long time after that. In fact, we didn't speak at all. I couldn't bring myself to look in her eyes. Partly, it was because I respected her and didn't deserve to be treated as her equal. The other part of me didn't want to look if her eyelids were lined with tears that the world would never see. It was more the latter. She would forever be strong in my eyes no matter what however. The strong cried every now and then. Everyone deserved to cry every now and then.

"So anything you want to talk about. I want to give you the chance." She stood from my bed abruptly. Sarge turned toward her just as suddenly watching her as she walked around the room aimlessly before finding a pen and a small scrap of paper which she began to write numbers on. "You can talk now, or," she turned to me and squatted down to hand me the small piece of paper, "you can call me later down the road when you really need it."

"I do have one thing to ask you," I admitted clutching the paper in my fist as if it were a life line. She turned to me sitting back down, but this time she sat on the floor with her legs crossed in an Indian style. She settled in and I sighed wishing I had kept my mouth shut. I had to ask now. "Have you ever liked someone, but you don't know what to do?"

"Who is it?" Katniss asked with a quirked eyebrow that made one side of her face scrunch up in confusion.

"Justin."

"You like him?" Katniss chuckled and looked around as if someone were listening in. "You acted like you hated the poor boy." When she finished her sentence she hung her head and I could hear her mutter, "Poor boy? I sound like my mom." She looked back up at me and plastered a smile on her face spilling the only truth she obviously knew about. "I'm not good at this kind of stuff. I must've broken Peeta's heart a thousands times before I finally realized that he was the only thing that kept me balanced." I was about to thank her for absolutely nothing and go back to the gym when she raised one hand with her pointer finger up to make me pause for a moment. "The one thing I'd suggest is that you just have fun with him. Go out and have a good time." She leaned forward and smiled like I never expected a victor to be able to do and whispered, "You need it." Katniss was the first one to stand and she winked at me before telling me to call her soon and walking out.

Gale turned over from outside the door with arms crossed over his chest and a smile. "She's right you know."

"She's in a really good mood." I pointed out trying to avoid the subject. I didn't need to hear about how I needed to give Justin a chance. I knew I needed to. He deserved that much, but I couldn't force myself to let it happen. Maybe it just would. Or it wouldn't…

"She's been a really strange mood ever since her kid was born." Gale agreed and looked down the hall as if Katniss was going to listen in on us.

"How long ago was that?"

"Two years." Both of us began to laugh. Soon Gale wiped away the laughter though and tried to be serious though he couldn't seem to get rid of the smile across his lips. "Clean yourself up Max. Justin's gonna take you out tonight, so you can finally see District 2 like you need to."

"Are you sure you're not trying to play match maker Gale?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest.

"Me? No. My wife? Well…" With another brief chuckle he walked down the hall and was gone leaving me to face that fact that I had a whole night alone with Justin.

Justin and I were the awkward couple at the back table. It was obvious that we weren't doing something right. Or I wasn't, I suppose. While other girls hung onto the arms of their soldiers I sat there with my hands in my lap laughing at the occasional joke he could muster. When we tumbled back into the awkwardness we just stared at the food on our plates. Yes, we were doing this all wrong.

When Justin did finally say something that was worth anything I wanted to praise him. "Wanna get out of here?" I nodded exuberantly. With the motion a smile bloomed across his face as he called for the check. The two of us hurried out into the night life of District 2 allowing the darkness to swallow us whole as he took my hand and led me away from the buildings and the lights. The stars struggled to show through, but the farther away the got the clearer they became.

Justin was able to guide me all the way to a small clearing where the grass grew much higher than need be. It seemed to be untouched by civilization other than a rotted picnic table that had vines climbing over it angrily. Eventually the table would be tackled to the ground and there would be nothing left other than the rotting wood that would fade someday as well.

"This is gorgeous; it's nothing like the rest of the district." I told him thought I wasn't sure what I was supposed to think. He shook his head and squeezed my hand as he led me farther up the foothill we were on toward a different spot. When I thought we were going to stop in the center of the woods for no reason Justin grabbed the lowest tree limb of a large Magnolia tree and hoisted himself up until he could climb easily. "Are we going all the way of there?" I shouted up and he looked down at me smirking.

"Gale said you were afraid of heights. I didn't believe him until now," Justin teased and then kept on climbing leaving me alone on the ground as he went higher. Looking around, I scanned the trees trying to decide if all of this was a trick. "Max! Come on!" I hooked my arm around the lowest branch and pulled myself up into the bottom of the tree. Without looking down, I hurried up to where Justin was pressing myself up against the trunk to hold on tightly.

I was going to yell at him. How could he drag me up here knowing I was afraid of heights? Gale had told him obviously, so his idea of a good time was dragging me up off the ground. I couldn't stop myself though. I looked straight down at the ground that pitched sideways and made my stomach churn.

"You're gonna make yourself sick." Justin laughed from one branch down so that his hands were at my legs' height.

"I'm gonna make you fall and break your arm," I snapped.

"Just look at what I brought you up here for," Justin pointed out toward civilization where buildings rose up a fell. It was a sea of lights spread far and wide from gate to gate. Just outside the gates were the beginnings of a suburb area that were like the fine glitter of tide after it washes up on the shore.

"Where's the base?" I wondered trying to spot the outside of the building that I couldn't seem to find.

"It's on the other side of the mountain. You can't see it from here." For a moment I thought that was the whole reason Justin had chosen this tree. No matter how much training one had been through, no matter how much time they had dedicated to the job, everyone wanted a break. This was Justin's break. This was his privacy.

Something came across my vision and when I could focus in on him I found it was Justin. His toes were touching mine, but I took that to mean he couldn't go much farther back because of the thinness of the branches. I could feel the heat rolling off his body as his arms entrapped me. The wonder grew in my eyes though I wasn't sure if that was possible. My mind tumbled over itself trying to decide if he had made up his mind or not.

When his lips pressed against mine I could feel the fire inside me burst. It was a short sweet kiss that ended too soon. Justin pulled away leaving me blushing a deep scarlet. I could feel the heat in my deep stomach along with my cheeks that couldn't seem to push away the feeling he had left.

Without another word I slipped down from my branch to the lower branches. I moved one by one until my feet touched the ground. The world still wouldn't stop spinning. I should've known it wouldn't. Especially when Justin landed in front of me making me stumble back slightly.

"I'm sorry," Justin said immediately keeping his hands to himself.

I shook my head and tried to find the words. Finally, I find the two words that I could think to say. "Don't be." The words sounded so typical and corny when they came out that I almost hid my face, but I found that I couldn't go anywhere as my back hit the trunk of the tree. Justin moved closer to me. His arms trapped me in a vice and he pressed his lips to mine again.

The confusion was gone now. We didn't shy away from each other. If anything, now we moved closer. His body pressed up against mine with a firmness that shocked me. I had always known that Justin was a soldier and that he was strong, but in that moment I could feel every muscle in his body move when he made the slightest of shifts. My fingers moved into his hair to have him closer if I could.

Everything that I had been deprived in my life, I didn't realize this was a big one. What my father had convinced me was silly, I found invigorating. What had made other girls giggle and blush, made my whole body burn with a lust I didn't understand. This was what I was missing?

When we parted from each other I could see the pleasure in his eyes. The shine of moon made his glassy eyes almost reflective. Looking at myself I almost expected to see burns from where his lips had touched. There were none. My eyes were just wide with wonder and passion that I felt like I could ride on for days without a wink of sleep.

"Should I take you home?" Justin whispered as if the loudness of our voices would destroy the stillness around us that we had already disturbed with our actions. Silently, I nodded my consent before Justin took my hand and led me back toward a world that I had seemed to finally escape if only for a little while.

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**Tell me what you think because this is all my pre-written, so I'll be writing to improve from here on out. I want your help! Thank you guys for reading. **

**Sincerely,**

**wisegirlindisguise**


	9. Chapter 9

**Fluffs over. There will still be happiness in this story. Just not right now. Just realized the other day that I based this character off of my best friend. No the Hunger Trials are not real and she's not a part of the Trials. Their personality is just very similar. Enjoy this chapter! It took my forever to write because my Writer's Block is flaring up again. (YES IT'S A DISEASE. DON'T QUESTION MY SANITY.(even if you should.)) **

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Over the next couple days Justin and I seemed to cling to each other in the most awkward ways. Though there was a closeness that was unmistakable, we still seemed to not be able to hold onto each other too long without fidgeting or going rigid. So we stuck to leaning against each other's shoulders or him standing slightly behind me with a protective posture that made me feel like I could lean back into him and he would shoot anyone that came too close.

People stared for the first twenty-four hours but then it seemed to be completely normal. The only one that seemed truly miffed by the idea was Delany who glared at me as I passed or didn't say the kindest of things to me when we were forced to speak over certain operations. Yes, I had become a part of them. Not officially, but if I lived on base I would act as so as long as I lived there.

I honestly didn't consider any other place. Where would I go? The only other place I knew was home where my mother was preparing for Lily's wedding and worried about my father who I shot in the shoulder and was currently in the hospital so that he could go to prison in tip top shape and test his own fighting.

Justin and I had joked about my father, but I really couldn't shake the feeling that I was betraying him. I also felt that slightly toward my passed siblings. They had risked their lives to please father and had gotten killed in the process. Miles was killed in the front yard. Ryan was killed in the internment camp. Amelia was lost to the Trials. So was Ray… Lily had made it out, sort of. Her child would be given over to training for the Trials and whether he (or she) survived was up to how our town's match making ended up.

At least Tyler made it out. Tyler was my older brother who had won the Trials before and flat out told my father that he would have no more of it. My father agreed…as long Tyler training his children just like my father had. He had two kids who were young, but training, and they weren't strong. It wouldn't take much to have them killed in their first round. But, perhaps they could beef up before they turned twelve. At the time they are currently eight and eleven. The older girl is close, and I haven't seen her practice in months. Maybe she's gotten better. Her little sister is nowhere near being able to do any damage. I'm sure Tyler will find a way to save his children though. At least he was lucky enough to marry for love instead of for genes. His wife Malia had been his best friend since he was a small child. I envied him for that.

What was my status? Technically? I suppose a file would say I was saved. I don't feel saved… Nightmares still rot my brain. Insecurity still poison's my thoughts. The worst was the need to fight. The need to kill was so unbelievable, and though I had been admitted the chance by Gale to step into the boxing ring I can't. I can't imagine what I would do to my opponent and what state of mind I would fall back into. Fall back into, hah. I'm always in that state of mind and I can't escape, ever. If I am threatened I will attack like a cornered dog which I have been since I was eight, just like Tyler's daughter.

It didn't matter now. I had to get out and that was my goal. I had to forget about the past. Somehow.

Justin was slowly starting to help. We spent countless hours sitting on the couch in our commons room where all the soldiers seem to stop just to relax for a while. We had the TV on most times even though we didn't really watch it. I would sit in the corner of the couch with my legs over his as he stared at the screen blankly. My head rested on his shoulder as we spoke in hushed tone.

"You'll find a new life," he would whisper trying to soothe me as my words seemed to become hopeless in myself. We had this conversation a lot. I would ask where he thinks I would end up. He would say that it was hard to tell. There was no way of knowing where someone like _me _would end up…

"I'm broken," I muttered in response feeling myself deflate back into the couch. That's when he would wrap his arm around me and kiss the top of my head. I couldn't say much after that. I never had something to say when it came to that point. He would tell me I wasn't broken and that I was healing. I just couldn't bring myself to believe him. That was the end, yet it repeated itself like a broken tape everyday until I refused to talk at all.

A week or so after my unfortunate visit with my father I found Gale and Justin arguing heatedly as they stood just outside of an emptying conference room. It had been one of those meetings I wasn't allowed into because it didn't concern me and I was nowhere near the status of a soldier. Instead, I was stuck as civilian sitting on the outside of all of the conference rooms except for the one that had informed me that the court had given me leeway on my actions against my father.

Apparently, since my father had trained me to be violent I had been given the leeway of mental handicap. However, it was more like it's all his fault anyways and he deserved to get shot someday. Gale said he overheard the judge saying that I should've killed my father, the "bastard." That had made me laugh with the slight hilarity though mostly I just casted my eyes to a far off spot where I could pretend I found it funny.

As I got close to Gale and Justin I could barely hear their words as they tried to lower their voices. "You can't tell her that. She'll freak out and think he's after her."

"He's not going to come into a soldier's living barracks and try to kill his daughter. Do you know how many guns are around this place tucked under soldiers' pillows? I know you have one Brier." Gale snapped eyeing the younger soldier harshly.

"It'll make the nightmares worse," Justin argued.

"We need to know where this man is going Brier, and she knows. I know she's not ignorant. We need his location so that we can lock him up for good and next time he gets shot we'll just let him recover on his own." Gale's words assured it for me. My father was out and he was around somewhere probably with a weapon prepared to hurt anyone that got in his way. My stomach flipped for good measure.

"You can't tell her…" A pause drew out in the air between the two as Justin tried to think. "At least let me tell her."

I cleared my throat and the two turned. "He'll be going to the Trials. The Final Trials where he can watch it all go down." My voice didn't go above a whisper, but they didn't seem to mind. They just listened. Betrayal stabbed at my heart telling me I was turning on my father. My own father! I was the worst daughter of all time because I was giving him up so that he could rot in prison forever. "He'll want to be a part of the Finals just like he always wants to be."

"He doesn't have a fighter," Gale said as if it would be the stop to my father's foolishness. He wouldn't go because he didn't have a fighter, of course… No, that wouldn't get in his way.

"He'll find a fighter to take my place in the Finals." I looked at Justin holding my breath to see if he would realize how many people I had killed in my career as a fighter. He had a stiff posture, but there was no other sign of tension.

"Do you know who he'll take?" Gale crossed his arms over his chest watching me carefully.

The truth was, my father would do anything to be in the Finals even if his child lost. If you had a kid in the Finals then that was recognition from your town. Not a lot of towns, but you get respect. To win is just a bonus for my father. He just wants representation.

I went through the files in my mind trying to sort out who he would take. He has two kids left which meant he might take someone else's kid who had been training for a while at home and won a couple of fights. Then again there weren't many of those that survived after a few months. Who would be at home that he could pick up easily?

My mind whirled and then it hit me. "Veronica…"

"Who's Veronica?" Gale demanded moving closer to me as an automatic reaction.

"My brother Tyler's daughter. I thought she was still eleven but her birthday was last month." I looked at Gale with wide eyes completely forgetting Justin for a moment who stood there with a flummoxed expression. "You need to drive me back to my town now."

"We can't call?" Justin asked and I shot a glare at him.

"A town of people working behind the law does not have a phone bill every month they can be traced through," my voice came out a lot snippier than I expected, but the concept seemed so obvious to me. I turned back to Gale clenching my fists angrily at the gall my father would have to do such a thing. "Take me home now."

When we got to me town we pulled up in front of a house a couple streets down from where my house had been. This was Tyler's house. With all the curtains drawn it looked as if no one was home, but I knew better. Climbing out of the car Justin tried to slowly me down, but I sprinted for the door before the car was even turned off.

My knuckles wrapped against the door heavily until I head movement inside. I wasn't leaving until I got an answer. "Tyler! Tyler let me in please!" I screamed until the curtains at the window next to the door slid open. It was his youngest daughter, Lexi, with bloodshot eyes and tear stains that marked her cheek. She clutched her small flimsy doll staring at me from the window. "Can you let me in Lexi?" She nodded and disappeared from the window before the door knob jiggled and the door creaked open. I squatted down to Lexi's height as she walked up to me squeezing her doll tightly. "Is your mommy or daddy home?" She nodded slightly. "Can you take me to them?" Her small hand reached out and I let her take my hand and lead me back into the house where the kitchen was and Malia was sitting at their kitchen table. "Malia?"

She turned so suddenly I almost stumbled back as a defense. When I saw her tears, I stuck to my spot and watched her not sure what to do next. She couldn't seem to find any words to say to me. So she didn't bother with it; her eyes simply went back to the table, and she buried her face in her hands. I took the seat next to her making sure not to bump her or move her as if she would crack and turn to dust if I did.

"Malia, where's Tyler and Veronica?" A sob broke in her throat and she pulled in a sharp breath as if it was going to be the last one she would take before going into breathless sobs. "I need you to tell me where they are Malia. Are they here in town?"

The look she gave me when she finally raised her head cracked my heart and made me want to cry myself. "They're gone," she whispered thought I could barely hear the words at all. Her lips trembled with the formation of words, and she could seem to stop her hands from shaking unless she pressed the hard against the table where they turned white from exertion.

"What happened Malia?" I put one of my hands on top of hers and she finally let the dam break.

More tears flooded her face and she looked away before standing to get a tissue. Leaning against the counter she stared at the ceiling before she looked at my wiping away the tears with a flimsy piece of paper we used as hankies. "You're father showed up again. He sounded so exited though he looked like shit. He said he had a spot in the Trials down past District 4. When Tyler realized what he was saying Tyler offered himself up," her next breath hitched several times before she could seem to force it all the way down her throat, "but Tyler's too old now. Tyler couldn't even fight him. All he could do was go with them when they left."

"Them?" I questioned, but I didn't wait for an answer. She was already in a fit of tears that she wasn't going to come out of this time. I stood from my spot walking up to Malia only to hug her one arm and tell her: "I'm going to get them home, Malia. Tyler and Veronica are coming home." There was another loud sob, but that was the end of what I had to say. So, I said goodbye to Lexi and then walked out to the car where Justin and Gale still seemed to be gathering their wits from what was going on.

"What now?" Gale asked as he slid back into his spot behind the wheel. Justin slid into the backseat with me. I didn't even reach for his hand. I couldn't bring myself to do it afraid that I would hurt him instead.

"We're going back to the compound." I said curtly looking out the window and waiting for the car to move. Time seemed to have paused though and we didn't move anywhere. "Gale let's go. We need to go. What are you waiting for?" I demanded turning to look at his eyes in the rearview mirror that seemed to be confused.

"Tell me what's going on," Gale demanded in a soft tone.

"We have an invasion plan," I said, but he didn't seem to take it as good news. The car still didn't move though it was cranked and ready to drive away. "Gale, let's go. I'm going to help you end the Hunger Trials."

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**Hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you liked and what you didn't like. That way I can improve. I'll see y'all next time. **

**Sincerely,**

**wisegirlindisguise**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi everyone. I've been very absent, but this story is almost over and I'm avoiding it with all I have. I hope you enjoy Max's life and that you're mad her blurb is ending as well. I hope you'll leave a comment telling me how mad you are. I like comments no matter if you're mad or happy. Just let me know what you think. Thank you and enjoy. **

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My head was shaved again as I walked through the crowd of people. Some recognized me and gave a nod of recognition, but other than that I was shown no love. I was reduced back to the lowest part of the food chain in the human race. I was the fighter that everyone watched get beat to death for fun. Where humanity went was oblivious to me, but it most definitely was not here. Not one person seemed to understand that there was life outside the arena they were now in.

This leftover football stadium was the only arena big enough to hold all of the spectators and their families without causing problems. Fights had broken out before and they happened every time, but it could've been much worse with a smaller space. At the moment, I was walking through the innards of this stadium looking for Tyler. He was the reason I was here.

I passed a kind face and nodded to Justin as he kept his hands tucked deep in his pockets and kept walking. That's when I met the other fighters. It started out with families and grew into an entrapment of anger as young men and women prepared themselves to kill a person as close as two feet away from them. Tyler and Veronica were to the left only a few groups back. Veronica was in tears hugging her father with all she had. He held her as closely as he could unable to say anything to her that would make her feel better.

"Tyler," I slid up next to him squatting so that I could talk to him quietly, "where's Father?"

"Max what are you doing here?"

"Tyler, tell me where he is," I snapped and he fell silent for a moment.

"Getting a good spot."

"So he won't be back?" I clarified and Tyler nodded. "Okay," I muttered looking up to where Gale was waiting around like an observer trying to make bets by the body build of the fighters stuck in the Prep Pit. "I won't you to take Veronica and this car," I slid a set of keys into his hand curling his fingers over the cold metal. "You get home to Malia and don't look back." Tyler was about to say something and I squeezed his hand. "Get home Tyler."

"What about you?" Tyler whispered holding Veronica's shoulder but trying to keep our conversation private. All of her ringlet hair was gone and her eyes were puffy and red from crying, but she seemed to be in awe of my presence as I looked just like her, just taller and better built for the Trials.

"I'll call you when I get back to safety. Don't worry about me." After that I ignored him and bent down to hug Veronica. "You and Daddy are gonna go home now, okay?" She nodded hugging me tighter than I thought she could. "Everything's going to be okay. No one's going to make you come back to this place ever again. I love you Veronica." I pulled away from her carefully wiping a tear from her cheek.

"I love you too Aunt Maxine," she said as Tyler grabbed her hand and pulled her away from everything. They were gone in the crowd before I could even stand up straight. Gale nodded slightly to me and then was gone as well.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO THE HUNGER TRIALS!" Old Capitol music started to play and the crowd went up in volume by leaps and bounds. Their roaring almost covered up the announcer, but I could somehow still catch his words through the concrete walls around us, "THIS YEAR WE ARE WELCOMING A WHOLE BRANCH OF NEW COMERS! WELCOME YOUR FIGHTERS!" The people around me started to drain out and I watched them as they did. Eventually they only trickled out and then were gone running onto the field to make their entrance. I went last walking past Justin who slid a gun into my waistline at the small of my back.

"Don't forget this," he told me as he handed me a necklace with dog tags on it that made it clear that I was now a Peacekeeper. He kissed my cheek and then let me walk into the arena on my own against twenty-nine people that wanted me dead with the ultimate sign of betrayal hanging against my chest just beneath the neck of my shirt.

The first thing I did as I walked out was look straight at my father and watched his face as he decided his reaction. Their was the slightest flinch of shock and then he composed himself. I thought he was going to stay and watch the carnage he had loved so much that he put his children in the center of it. However, my father is not a stupid man, so he stood and headed for the back door.

My focus changed to where Gale was and he nodded to me and also a woman who was walking by him. She quickly changed directions and was gone within moments in the crowd to catch my father. This was full infiltration. Gale had set up a perimeter a half mile out. Looking around, I was sure almost half the crowd was a peacekeeper by the way they walked. They didn't look guilty and they walked with a stiffness that seemed to be government issued.

"WE HAVE A LAST MINUTE CHANGE: WITH A SURPRISE REAPPEARANCE WE HAVE MAXINE BEAUREGARD BACK IN THIS FIGHT. MAYBE HER FINAL FIGHT." There was no welcoming applause which meant my news had been secret had been spread. I was now the intruder…and the target. "THE RULES ARE: SURVIVE. WELCOME TO THE TRIALS." All of the fighters stepped up onto their plates where they had to start from so that there was no premature harm. "THREE, TWO, ONE." A cannon was fired and that was the beginning of the Trials. We stepped off our plates and went after the nearest person with whatever weapon we had on us.

My usual brass knuckles were tucked onto my fingers, but this time Justin had gotten the technology branch to enhance them slightly. The first punch I landed to my opponent sent a shock through their body until they were on the ground out cold. It was the only way I could take them out easily without being terribly noticeable. I took out three by the time my fellow fighters started to notice something was up. Then I became the target.

Six of them came at me forming an unspoken alliance only to be broken when I was dead. Justin tensed up in the crowd from my peripheral, but I didn't pull my gun yet. I wouldn't let myself. I took out two who were in front of the pack and then took off running. The other four where brute strength and didn't seem to have much agility on their side, even the girl. They were meant for close quarters fighting where they could corner their prey. In the middle of a devastated football field, I would be able to run circles around them forever. I didn't have time for that though.

Turning on one of them who had the most speed out of all the bears I punched his stomach and then laid a softer one to his neck which sent the shock through him until he was out. The two men after him went down just as easily. The last man was harder to get a fist on. His dodging skills were low, but every time he took a shot at me he would get me, all he had was his bare hands.

Looking over at the other fighters I noticed I wasn't the main focus. A boy with a knife was fighting heavily with a hoard of people. Seven people laid at his feet in a pool of each other blood. Two more came at me, one with a mace, and the other had a knife. With the swift move of my foot I knocked the mace out of the boys hand and grabbed his neck waiting for him to go down at what looked to me a lack of oxygen. The girl still came at me and I grabbed the blade of her knife sending a fair shock through her body that left her shaking on the ground. No one noticed the oddness of her death since the other boy had taken out another three people in the time I had faced two.

I tried to get near him and take him out before more lives were lost, but he took out another before I could get through a single thought. So I ran at him. With all the soldiers I had been around that were all about planning and taking down the enemy with tactical procedures that created the best chance for recovery. Not then, it wasn't the time.

I grabbed a boy from behind throwing him to the ground without electrifying him. "Stand down," I hissed multiple times as I threw punches to him that looked intensely painful but in the end were soft blows that any fighter would be grateful for. When I stood he stayed down and played dead for the sake of staying alive. The next two did the same with the brains they had kept through their childhood of brainwashing, having life still ruled over their raising.

The boy was still taking down people one by one until only three of us stood. He turned toward me and his eyes grew wide for a moment before he looked at the other girl who was a weakling that had stayed out of the fighting until now when she had no choice. Luckily for her, he didn't go near her. He turned on me.

"You want to start this now?" I asked loudly shouting to him from across the distance I had left between us.

"If we start it any later one of us will be dead," it seemed to be more a of a promise coming from his lips as if he was confident enough to say that I would be the one dead.

"Let's not forget that I've gotten this far in the Trials too Phoenix. I didn't die as fast as you and your family thought I would." Phoenix was a boy from my town when I was little. They moved away after I refused to marry their son. As the youngest I was supposed to be the test dummy, but the survivor. When they had set a boy for me to marry it had been Phoenix who had a whole history of winners and fighters in his family. We had been friends for years, and when I flat out refused their family got mad at me. I was chosen to fight and they were convinced I would die, quickly. But, here I was.

"Why'd it take you so long to get this far?" He asked mockingly.

I shrugged watching him as we began to circle each other creating a dance out of death. "We've obviously both never lost a fight, so why are we arguing about this? Now tell me what you know about the girl before one of us has to take her out."

"Replacement, she'll be easy to take out. She had no idea what she's doing." Phoenix looked at her past me and winked. That was Phoenix. Even as a kid he took pleasure in screwing with people's minds. "Now, you'll be an interesting fight," he smiled at me like I'm sure a demon would in its domain. This was his domain. The old Hunger Games would have been his pride and joy to compete in. Of course, those had been a whole different mental game.

Pain shot through my back toward the bottom of my ribcage and I went down to the ground trying to find the source of the pain. Phoenix was standing in shock, but that little girl shoved me over and used the hilt of her knife to stop her fists from being the things to dig in to my skull. With every crushing blow I felt pain spike through me. When I tried to fight back she seemed to find a way to pin down my arms. "You killed my sister!" She screamed at me hitting me harder with every syllable. Out of nowhere a shot rang out and all hell broke loose, but my consciousness faded before I could make sense of it.

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**Hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you liked and what you didn't like. There's not much I can do about it at this point, but improvement for my next story if there is one. Thank you!**

**Sincerely,**

**wisegirlindisguise**


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm trying again because my readers and I all noticed that the other chapter was not the best I could. So this is my second try. the first bit might be the same, but it is different. Give me another chance PLEASE! Haha, thank you for reading you guys. It's really appreciated it. **

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Only days before the Hunger Trials that we invaded we had created a plan, or I had. During the briefing was when I was going to release it because I wasn't going to allow it to be changed any. I knew what had to be done in order to destroy the Hunger Trials; however, I knew some people would disagree with my plans. I'll take you to the debriefing now if you feel comfortable with the continuation of my story:

_Justin was already sitting in the seat next to where I was standing at the front of the room. Everyone else filed in around him taking the seats that were open on either side of the table. These leaders had only some idea of what they were getting into when they came for this meeting. Of course they knew it had to do with me, and it had to do with the Hunger Trials which kind of went hand in hand. Gale came in as one of the last people sitting at the head of the table opposite of me while I stood. _

_"I expect you have a plan," Gale said passively though now he was truly hiding his emotions from the room around him. _

_"I do," I nodded and he motioned slightly with his hand to go on. "Okay… The Hunger Trials has been going on since months after the Hunger Games were destroyed. It's almost a tradition to the elders and it's life to the children," I watched everyone agree as if this was typical information before a debriefing. "So, we have to do more than just take out this one location of operation. We have to scare the trainers into not returning, and get the fighters out of there." _

_"How do you propose we do that?" One of the men asked. He was one of the men that questioned everything. He especially questioned me as they ex-Trials fighter who was more dangerous than a lot of men on the compound. _

_"We have to infiltrate the crowd and create a perimeter," I said it without hesitation trying to prove to myself and everyone else in the room that I was here to do what they had failed at doing for years. "We're going to need every man possible on board for this. I need to know what we can do to set this up now." Everyone was quiet for a moment and then a man raised his hand like a shy child. "Go." _

_"I could have around six hundred men contributed to the perimeter. With that many we could cover the entire stadium from about a half mile out." _

_"That's good anyone else." I demanded waiting for more to speak up. _

_"My men would be happy to be in whatever infantry group you have planned," Delany said smiling and it started from there. At first it was just those to commanders and than it was another. Eventually the whole room was on board. We had enough men to make a little over half the crowd Peacekeepers. _

_"Thank you guys," I smiled at all of them and then turned on the screen behind me showing them a schematic for the arena I had recalled to a sketch artist on base. "We'll have the perimeter here with 800 men. The rest of the men will be in the arena the whole time." _

_"We're not gonna run in and take it?" Delany asked as f that fight was her favorite part. _

_"No, they'll fight back to fast. We'll lose too many live that way. We have to all be already inside, but not all at once." Turning on the room I focused my attention on the people because this was nothing to be seen. In fact, this was almost as if our men had to become invisible. "People start showing up at ten that morning. The fight starts at the three. They're going to try to finish the fight before nightfall. Lights draw attention." I turned back to the board looking at all the different ways one could escape the arena. "Our men are going undercover which means they have to let go of what their morals think are right. The perimeter will be created at three exactly. You can't be late or else you'll miss my father." _

_"Why would your father leave?" Justin asked watching me carefully as I turned to the rest of the room again taking a deep breath. _

_"He'll walk out once he sees me walk in to fight." My voice stayed steady which was part of the reason Justin let his head rest in his hands covering his eyes. Gale stood up and I turned away going back to the board pointing at one end of the field's ends. "The fighter's walk out here which is when everyone will start to pay attention." _

_ "Wait a second!" Gale snapped and I closed my eyes trying to let his words pass through me unheard. _

_ "That means all of our men need to have eyes on the field and the person next to them—,"_

_ "Wait dammit!" Gale slammed his hand against the table and I turned to face him this time watching him boil with anger as if we were the only people in the room. "You are not going into the arena so you can walk right back into those fights!" _

_ "This is my operation Gale and that's my choice. I'll be fine. I have it covered." I still kept my voice calm not allowing myself to get worked up over his reaction. I had expected it and knew it was coming. What I didn't expect was for Gale to walk out of the room slamming the door behind him. Justin stood as well and told me he was going after Gale before he left too. "Meeting adjourned," I announced and allowed everyone to drain from the room. _

_ Before the man that had originally spoken up to help out with the perimeter left I grabbed his arm. I slid a picture from my pocket and handed it to him. "This is Tyler and Olivia, they are the only people to leave the perimeter. You don't let anyone else out." He looked at the father daughter picture and then agreed silently before leaving the room. _

Two days later we were completely ready for the raid and not one person seemed to be against it other than Gale. Even Justin seemed to understand. In fact, we had talked about it lying out in the woods where he had originally taken me to see the stars. We laid in grass looking up into the sky not really looking as we laid in an awkward silence. When we spoke it was as if we were saying nothing. We were just making noise to fill the air that only seemed to be filled with lightning bugs.

Out of nowhere, he seemed to find the courage to bring up an untouchable subject:

_"You're going to be okay right? This won't be my last night with you?" He whispered. I looked over at him expecting to see him looking at me with some kind of plead to not leave him, but he was still staring at the stars with a blank expression. _

_ "I'll be back with you safe before you know it," my confidence wavered on the inside but I tried to not let it show outwardly. He looked over at me with a doubtful expression. "I promise," I smiled slightly before turning away from him afraid that my composure would crumble. _

_ He turned over letting his figure hover over me moving a loose hair from my face. "You better," his words came out just louder than a breath making my insides flip from his proximity. I kissed him once smiling for his benefit letting him think I believed I would be fine. _

_ Being completely honest, I was sure that I would survive for the most part. However, there was always a chance that it could be the one fight I would lose especially since my goal was to only knock the opponent out instead of killing. In a situation where I killed my opponent, I knew they weren't going to get back up. I couldn't think about that now. I would have an advantage this time. I had less of a chance of dying. I could do this. _

The next day was the day it all began. That was also the day I almost died. Months later I woke up in a hospital where people acted like it was a miracle I was alive. All of my medical attention was taken care of in District 12 where a woman named Katniss Mellark and her husband Peeta paid for all of the expenses. I will never know why because I've never met either of them. There's also a man named Jake— no, not Jake. Justin, his name is Justin. He claims he was my boyfriend, I find that hard to believe. He seems very rough and I don't think I would choose someone like him. However, I don't even remember my own name so I won't judge anyone for their lies since I don't know any truth.

Justin would follow me through town trailing behind me by a few feet. The first couple of days he had been so close all the time, and now I demanded the space from him. He complied, but never let me leave his sight as if I was going to have a meltdown that I would never return from. Had I done that in the past? This past that I'm missing: did it give reason to my having to be watched?

"Riley, come inside please! You shouldn't be out in this cold." My head turned to the voice where Mrs. Katniss was standing waving me over toward the house. I nodded and ran for the house as best as I could with the constricting coats I was wearing to keep me warm. When I got into the house I turned around with a smile expecting to have lost Justin. He slipped inside only moments later thanking Mrs. Katniss for her hospitality. "Peeta is fixing dinner in the kitchen Riley. How about you go help and then we'll meet you for dinner." I only nodded before moving on toward the kitchen without a word to anyone.

Mr. Peeta was my favorite. He was the only one who consistently called me Riley while everyone else seemed to lean toward calling me Max which comes from my middle name. He doesn't seem to have known me before whatever happened to me, so it doesn't bother him one bit. Prim was so much like him it was amazing. Of course, that might have been because she was a daddy's girl. Prim clung to her father like their clothes were sewn together. Even now she was hugging his leg while she sat on the floor.

I sat down at the bar that led into their kitchen going very quiet while I helped cut some vegetables up. Peeta didn't even ask what was up. He knew I was eavesdropping:

"Justin, the doctor said her memory might come back over time you have to be patient—,"

"I'm tired of being patient. The doctor said some things will trigger it. Let me just give them to her, please… I'm sure some memory will come back. Or I could take her back to District 2 to see Gale."

"Maybe in the spring. Right now, she just needs to focus on social skills. She has no memory whatsoever. She only knows her names from her medical reports. Let it go, okay? She'll come back to us when she's ready."

"Fine…"

Peeta looked over at me and then smacked his knife on the cutting board to draw my attention at Katniss and Justin walked in. Slowly life moved around me as dinner was prepared and plated. Somehow, I ate without realizing it and then went to bed in my own room which had once been an office in the house that Katniss didn't particularly like being in. Then like any typical story I fell asleep.

That night I had dreams that turned into nightmares. There was a little girl being called Riley by her mother, but her father continued to pound the name Max down until she accepted it because she was daddy's little girl. Soon it was the only name she knew. Her friends didn't dare call her by her real first name. Why? Because she, herself demanded that they not cal her by anything other than Max.

The next day after those dreams I was very quiet. I kept thinking through my dreams as if they would make sense, but they never seemed to swirl into some tangible explanation. Perhaps in a past life I was creative! Maybe I had written story after story and had written all this down in attempt to because a trader of arts who was known for nothing better than their ability to think of the worst possible situations and put people in them. I asked Mrs. Katniss that night and she seemed almost amused by the question, but her answer was sure. "No," I was no artist.

The next night daddy's little girl had to grow up fast when her father started making her fight her siblings. Every night she would go home to her mother who shrieked at the bruises. At night she heard her mother and father fighting. Mother would scream about wanting one child just one. But, she had seven, wasn't seven enough? Her mother started to drift when her youngest daughter still sided with her father. Without death or divorce she lost her mother. She still clung to him though.

When I woke up in the morning I did start to write it down. It seemed so odd that I had been able to pull such detail together. Despite Mrs. Katniss words, there had to be a part of me that had thought through this girl's story so extensively that I knew every little detail about her. That way if someone asked a question I was sure I could answer. The writings took up many pages and soon it became my life. My life was sitting their writing this girl's story.

The first time she broke away was when she got to stop fighting and she shot him in the shoulder after meeting Justin. I knew he was bad news. I knew it. He must've influences this girl. In the dream there seemed to be some sort of joy in this act though. She finally got to take the fight back to the man that demanded she fight for her life for his pleasure. The unfortunate truth was that he deserved this even if I didn't quite understand why this girl suddenly found it wrong. Hadn't she ever experience the right way of things before that time?

For humor in the next few days, I added people I knew today. Mrs. Katniss was in the story. Mr. Peeta's name was even mentioned. Justin was a big part of this story and became sort of a small antagonist. That night after dreaming I glared it him often for what he did to this girl. He had poisoned her mind with the thought the violence would solve Max's problem. Soon, he became the love interest in the story and helped this girl heal despite my still unpleasant thoughts toward him.

For the longest time, it never seemed to get better for this girl in my dreams. Her times awake were spent in sadness. Her time asleep was spent in fear that awoke her to the sadness every day.

So the book lulled into this awful doldrums; however, I managed to throw in certain things that kept it going. Her father escaped for instance. The book got longer and longer and the only happiness was her love story and her new fatherly figure Gale Hawthorne whom I had never met in my life. My imagination continued to astound me with the fact that I could set up a character so complex. Her story still dragged though.

It stayed awful.

She almost died. She went back to these fights on her own will and almost died. There was no one to blame there. That was where the dreams ended. I didn't have any more to see of the girl because the pain of her last moments would always wake me up.

I tried to remake the dream several times: that last dream in her series. I tried to re-dream it. I was successful several times, but for some reason I could get past that pain. It was too much to bear. So I woke up every time.

That was how Max's story ends. It ends in the pain and then her death. I even wrote some sort of funeral scene in which death is the one speaking in Max's honor as it looks over her friends and what's left of her family. Death even takes the time to choose whose next. That was how the whole book closed though.

No one seemed to like it at first.

I only had Mrs. Katniss read it, and then I had Mr. Peeta read it. Mrs. Katniss seemed frustrated completely by it and stormed out the house with a copy of it. Mr. Peeta read it and seemed to be a little confused by it. He questioned my memory and I just smiled. "This is all I can remember," I told him. "I can only remember this girl's story." Mr. Peeta sunk into the couch and just stared at the copy in his hand. My therapist did much of the same thing. Everyone just seemed flummoxed by it. How could someone in my condition recall a tragic book idea when I couldn't remember my own last name had I not been wearing the dog tags around my neck when I woke up?

What seemed to be amazing was that the book started to sell. I got a few copies bound and sent to the Capitol where people went crazy for the story. Copy after copy as created and sold to the next raving mob that wanted to know what happened to Maxine Beauregard. They were always disappointed about the ending, but they couldn't seem to get enough of it. Money started to stack up from the sales. It didn't effect me much at all though.

I stilled lived in Mrs. Katniss' and Mr. Peeta's house no matter what. They were all I knew, and my therapist was convinced that they were all I could handle. So I stayed happily.

Justin turned out to be not so bad either. He grew more and more patient with me until the point that we revolved around each other much like a married couple. That was when Mrs. Katniss let him take me on a trip. I had heard them talking about in low voices:

_"I think she trusts me enough now. She won't freak out." Katniss still made noises of disapproval, but that didn't stop Justin: "Please, this book has gone out to everyone. Everyone knows her story and she has no idea it's hers. If she doesn't remember, she doesn't remember. It'll just be freaky déjà vu." _

_ "Her therapist—," _

_ "Isn't doing shit," Justin finished for her even though I was sure that wasn't what she going to say. "You're Katniss Everdeen and you're gonna follow all these rules made by some nut job who hasn't helped her one bit?" Justin demanded appealing to her past self she had from being in these things called the Hunger Games. "Let me at least try." _

When Katniss agreed I flew back to my room to start packing so that I would be ready to go when we left. I was honestly ready to take a break from District 12 since it was like I had never been out of it. When Justin came to tell me about it I was packed and he was smiling from ear to ear. He moved to his dresser in the room to pack watching me out of the corner of his eye as I sat on the bed. He had moved in a few weeks ago with the only reasoning being that I was eighteen now and Mr. Peeta guess that he could handle it.

We were in Justin's car on the road by nightfall which seemed to make Justin happy. "Where are we going?" I wondered as we left the boundaries of District 12.

Justin shifted in his seat sinking down into the comfort of a car he seemed to have missed while he was cramped up in District 12. "We're going several places. First we're going to my old military compound and then my chief's house," Justin adjusted all his mirrors and continued on tuning the inside of the car to his liking until everything was perfect. He of course was totally truthful as we pulled into District 2. Everyone stared at the car at first and then ignored it as it moved into the compound he was talking about. "Here, wear these," he told me handing the dog tags I had woken up with to me.

"Have you brought me here before?" I wondered as I climbed from the car and dropped the necklace around my neck.

"Why?"

I shrugged catching up to him as he hurried toward the door to the building. "I'm just trying to figure out where the dog tags came from." His answers were very vague as we walked through the building. A few people waved at us though many seemed to just nod their consent. I waved back politely feeling lost around these people. Even more so than usual, I clung to Justin who I found comforting when I didn't know many people. "You don't seem scared of this place at all."

"I'm not," he whispered as he turned into the solder barracks that were basically just dorm rooms. "This was home for a really long time. It kept me sane."

"It didn't do a very good job," I breathed and he shoved me into a wall playfully. "Hey! I was just kidding!" I shrieked as we went down the hall.

Justin wrapped an arm around my waist pulling me back close as we finally stopped. He pushed open a door and motioned to it with a halfhearted attempt to excitement. "This was my room." I smiled not sure if I should fake a pensive manor of his glory days. "That one across the hall was a friend of mine's."

"Does he still live there? Maybe you could tell him hello or something." I suggested moving toward his friend's door. I moved to knock on it and he stopped me.

"_She _doesn't live in the District anymore. She was a really good friend though. We helped each other out." There was a slight pain in my head that pounded against my skull. It reminded me fiercely of the pain in my dream, but I didn't let it get to me. I just shook my head slightly and ignored it.

"Sounds like a good friend." I gave an unsure smile leaning in closer to him. "Where to next?"

"The chief's house I guess," Justin shrugged as if he were disappointed in something. I took it as a disappointment for his friend's absence. Maybe his friend had passed away and he just wasn't ready to talk about it. I simply agreed to his next plans as we headed back to the car. When it came to life he sighed and pulled out onto the street again.

Our travel farther from the center of the city was quiet. Only the radio seemed hum along to a wordless song. Even then it was turned down as low as it could go. Justin seemed to let something brew inside him as he watched the road. I watched him for a long while before my gaze went to the outside world. Trees whizzed by as we entered the outskirts where we would around different roads to find this man's house.

As we pulled up his lights were aglow. The front windows had a small silhouette in it that jumped up and down when Justin and I climbed out of the car. The figure disappeared behind the curtains and reappeared with a much larger figure that waved to Justin and I outside before moving to the door to open it.

"Brier, great to see you!" The man said hugging Justin as if he was a long unseen college friend. The two shared very hushed words before the man turned toward me. He extended a strong hand which I took with a very subtle hesitation. "Hi, my name is Gale Hawthorne." The name seemed to strike a thought somewhere in me.

"I used your name in my book!" I thought aloud shaking his hand enthusiastically. "Have I met you before?"

"One or twice. We spent quite a bit of time together actually." Gale hugged me carefully smiling ass if I remembered him to some extent. I was really only going off his character I had written, but at least I had some idea as to who he was.

The time spent with Gale was well spent. Their daughter Zelle clung to her father like he was the best thing in the world. Their close relationship made my heart ache. I had been told several times that my relationship with my father wasn't very good. I had also been told that my father would never be coming back.

A young boy walked out of the back hallway at one point. He looked a little lost, but he knew his way around and showed himself to the fridge. On the way back to his room he caught a glimpse of me and stopped. When he turned toward me was when I noticed how many scars he had. At fifteen this boy had more scars than most men did in their whole lives. "Maxine Beauregard, how are you?" He asked watching me as I sat on the couch talking with Gale and his wife.

"I'm very well, thank you…"

"John, my name is John. Thank you very much, by the way, you're the reason I'm getting better." A smile lit his face and then he walked back to his room. Gale had a smile when I looked back to him. His wife also had a huge smile and squeezed his hand several times so that Gale would notice her reaction.

"You are staying with us tonight, right?" Gale asked and Justin smirked.

"I was hoping you'd offer."

That night was spent with us separated into different room in a back hall of the house. The hall seemed to have just been put in as if they were expecting to be harboring more people. Maybe people like John who didn't seem like he was a part of the family completely. I wondered seriously if he was an adopted child. However, I didn't dare ask in fear that would be wrong and make someone in the family feel bad.

The dream I had that night was horrific and woke me up once or twice before I decided sleeping by myself was not a good idea. Sliding down the hall in perfect silence, I made my way to Justin's room that I cracked the door to immediately waking him up. His messy hair made me chuckle as he realized it was me. The knife in his hands was slowly lowered back down to hide under the pillow and he opened his arms to me. I climbed into his hold feeling as, not only I, Justin relaxed and kept his hold on me the rest of the night while I fell back into a deep slumber.

We left the next day without a real fuss. Gale seemed a little disappointed, as did his wife, but they still hugged us the same way and wished us well as we drove off. The boy John even made his way outside holding little Hazelle's hand who seemed to be dragging him out to say goodbye. John picked the little girl up and waved to while Justin drove with me waving through the back window.

For a few hours, we sat in a meadow. It was a very pretty meadow even though there was a run down picnic table that didn't look like it would be able to hold a small bowl of salad for any sort of picnic. Justin decided to be ridiculous and climbed into a tree trying to coax me up into the mess of branches. Looking up at him I rolled my eyes and stayed lying the grass. While he sat in the tree like a small child, I watched the clouds through the dark tinting of my sunglasses. When we left he seemed very put down and befuddled.

"Where to next?" I demanded thinking I actually had a good time and he was being moody.

For a moment he just scratched his head and looked at me. Then he watched the trees beyond the windshield. "Well, I guess we'll go somewhere a little different." Justin pushed the car into drive and then drove for the edges of District 2. We drove for what seemed like forever on the main road until we turned onto a set of smaller roads that cast out in different directions like a web over the whole boondocks area outside the districts.

The next place wasn't miraculous. There wasn't a large house or a nice fence. It was quite sad really:

The small fence was hanging on by the sloppily added chicken wire. The house behind it seemed to be rotting from the outside and falling inward on the people inside. A dog ran out front that Justin greeted by name: Sarge. There were clothes lines in the back that this massive dog nearly dragged me to where a woman was cradling a fairly young child in her arms. A younger woman had a child as well. They chatted with small words, but they didn't seem too down about their situation in the awful house.

"Mrs. Beauregard," Justin called out and I turned to him sharply as the woman turned and smiled at him timidly. "Uh, I brought someone with me," Justin motioned to me and the older woman's face lit up while the other girl seemed to jump into action toward me. Before she could pounce on my Justin grabbed her upper arm careful not to jostle the baby in the sling around her shoulders. He whispered something to both of the women. The joy between them slowly died as they fell back into their somber mood.

"Great to see you Riley," the older woman said extending a careful hand. I offered my hand and she shook it firmly. "This is Lillian," the woman motioned to the younger woman who gave the same extension of the hand shaking my hand with a light almost sad feeling. Her bottom lip trembled as she nodded a hello to me and then she went back to her laundry. "Would you two like to come inside? I can find you something to drink."

"That sounds fantastic," I smiled and followed her as she grabbed her laundry basket against her hip and led me over to the run down house. Justin followed closely behind with a protective hand on my back. Moving it away, I held his hand like it should be pulling him up to my side instead of him trailing behind me like some attachment.

Sitting down at the kitchen table the woman moved around the kitchen pulling out a large pitcher of a brown liquid that she poured three glasses to serve us all. "Lillian has chosen to not join us so it'll just be us." We gave voice to our different agreements and then took large sips of the sweet liquid that tasted almost like tea. In fact, after the next couple of sips, I knew it was tea, but it was strangely sweet.

"Let me go put baby Brian down to bed; I'll be right back." The woman stood leaving a half drained glass as she vanished into the back hall of the house.

That was when I took notice to the pictures on the wall. There were several pictures on the wall that spread from one corner to the other of one kitchen wall. All the children on the wall were smiling as younger children. Later on down the wall, their faces seemed to fall until they reached their teens. There, their hair was shaved, even the girls, and they wore completely serious faces. Only one picture had her whole family in it. The eldest boy had to have been about to turn eighteen while the rest of the kids were in steps behind him. It looked like evolution in a family. The youngest was the happiest; with age, the smiles faded until they were a totally different person like the eldest boy and then the dad.

The dad. He had sharply cut hair and scruffy chin. The hairs on his chin were grey and were slowly reaching up into his hair only reaching his sideburns so far. There was no hint of a smile through the wrinkles that scarred the skin around his eyes or around his mouth and forehead. To look forward to life, and then be raised to be like your father, it must've been miserable.

That's when I spotted a certain picture. The girl had tight curls of dirty blond that covered her head line mane. She was missing a few of her front teeth that showed in her smile as she looked up at her mom who was looking at her with an unexplained happiness. I reached for one of the curls in my hair automatically twirling it and letting it smack back into place. Justin eyed the pictured as well and smiled.

"Justin, what is this place?" I muttered as the women's footsteps came back down the hallway toward the kitchen. He could only smile it seemed. "Justin, tell me."

"Riley," the woman announced from the doorway where had stood quietly for only a few moments, "this was your home."

To this day I don't have much of my memory. I struggle to think back on detail that people demand that I recall, but after ten years they stopped demanding it of me. They just let it be and when I have breakthroughs we celebrate. It seems to be the only thing we can do. I'm honestly just happy to be putting the pieces back together.

I released some press about how the book was a true story and that opened the eyes of thousands of people. Any remaining camps, including in my hometown, were shut down. The kids trapped inside of them were sent to rehabilitation programs. After six months they went through review and either was sent for more rehabilitation, or they got to go home to the family that was left to welcome them.

What most people found amazing about my life what that I fell in love with the boy that I had no memory of ever meeting. I still don't remember anything about meeting Justin the first time and what he did for me. Gale, I only remember slightly though I try very hard when I see him. It's still very difficult to trust Gale at times, but I'm trying.

The most I can trust him with right now is his daughter watching my children whom she seems to love. Our twins run circles around her, but she twirls and pretends to chase them both. Somehow, when Justin and I get home from work, she has gotten them in bed passed out cold. She lives with us currently as our nanny while she's going to college in District 12 to become an architect. She loves the designs in District 12 and takes many pictures to strengthen her ideas for her portfolio before graduation.

Our boys were both three and were equivalent to a Tasmanian Devil. Our work with local Peacekeepers is usually a full time job, but we spent as much time with them as possible. They have completely different personalities, so we're lucky we can tell them apart. Ray is a very sweet boy with a high energy level, but if he did something wrong he was the first to apologize which made life a little bit easier when they broke a plate or a lamp. Miles however just bounced off the walls. He was more Devil than Tasmanian and we were hoping he would grow out of it before his teens. Or by then, we'll have raised him well enough.

Our eldest Amelia thinks she's in charge, so we weren't allowed to call Hazelle her nanny because she could take care of herself. She can test our boundaries, and she does on a daily basis. We know she'll be able to handle herself though. What makes it easy with her is that when she cries she'll just curl up in our bed and stay there sinking into the massive pillows and blankets.

We figure we'll be able to handle all of them soon enough. Hopefully, we'll have it figured out before Hazelle graduates and moves to the Capitol as she's already been offered a job after graduation. Their grandmother promises to help and their cousins come over frequently.

Even if we don't figure it out, we don't really mind. This was how raising kids was supposed to be. It was supposed to take a village of people to raise them rather than a cage to train them. Even then we'll mess up somehow, but we aren't perfect. Close is all we can count on. Justin and I still look at each other everyday over a quiet early morning breakfast with our own silent language being the only thing we exchange, and we both know that after the childhood's we've seen and known, it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be memorable.

So thank you for reading my story. It's been a blast. You've seen the highs and lows of my life, but here we are at the end. My life will never be spotless. I'll always be scarred with my own past that I don't remember completely, and I'll be stained by the baby food Miles used to throw at me. I've had enough smiles to bleach it back though, so don't worry about me. Justin and I are going to keep fighting the Hunger Trials. One day, it'll all be gone and you won't have to worry about them either. Lucky you. Good luck with your life.

* * *

**I poured my heart a soul into this! I'm just kidding, but I did try. My heart and soul went into my original novel that I'm writing, but I dispensed some love onto this. So help me out a review. I love the feedback. Thank you!**

**Sincerely,**

**wisegirlindisguise**


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